Cloverstardrop’s Finding July A Pain

Today is Alexandra Cloverstardrop Switch Daemone Asparagus F’Tang Ximinez Thompson’s seventeenth birthday.

In accordance with Californian State law, this means she can now legally wear flared trousers without being accompanied by an adult, but still cannot wear cowboy boots without proof she owns two cows and cannot ride a bicycle in her local municipal pool.

(Only one of those we made up, by the way, the rest are true!)

What did Switchypoos want for her birthday?

An early period.

yewot  yewot

No, we don’t mean Norman England or Italy before the Renaissance.

cloverstardropper in july

So for what we think is the first time ever, Switch will not have to spend her birthday feeling in about as much of a mood to celebrate as someone that’s just been told they’ve just won a free holiday in Tunisia with the equivalent of £5000 of spending money in Confederate Dollars.

For those unaware how matters tend to go for her, it’s something like this:

Day One and Two: The initial pain stage.

cloverstardropper in july 1

Day Three: The Turning More Emo Than Moaning Myrtle Stage.

cloverstardropper in july 2

Day Four: The Getting Aggressive Stage

cloverstardropper in july 3

Day Five: The Mabusesque Vengence On Society And The World

cloverstardropper in july 4

Day Six: Gorges on chocolate. Calm is restored. The Union remains strong. 24 hour ‘Frozen’ marathon on all cable networks until the disturbance in the Force is muted.

As you can see from the below, Switch is now back to normal.

cloverstardropper in july 5

Although she’s still to see the elephant in the room over her recent pottymouthiness…

cloverstardropper in july 6

whistling mares nest version  whistling mares nest version

We tried finding an appropriate birthday song, but the only one that seemed to fit was this one…

Knew you’d be pleased!

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