Raiders Of The Lost Island Consignment Shop – Part 39

Yes, a third chapter this week, so far we’ve had Switch (Cloverstardropper), Chyla, Rflong7/13 (Becca), Writin_Reg, Pary, HappySimmer3 (Tangie), Moryrie and Reesaroo – and now it’s the return of Stickykisses, TadOlson and the demon baby Vera Blake (Kelly Blake).

There is a point to all this jumping back and forth between them as you’ll see very shortly, but for now it’s…

rotlics part 38 - titles

Meanwhile, in the early hours of the morning several miles outside of Moonlight Falls…

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‘There it is, Vera and Tad. Moonlight Falls’ Bracemoor Medium Security Jail. Set to the design of one of the Simming world’s most acclaimed architects, Cyclonesue, the Bracemoor type have becoming the standard Medium security jail of the modern era. Since the move by judicial authorities to housing low to medium risk prisoners to the Bracemoor type, there has never been from any of them a single recorded successful jailbreak, prisoners in individual cells rather than communal, making it harder for them to plan and prepare escape attempts. …’

Pfffft! You starting to sound as boring as Gillie!’

‘TadOlson finds Stickykisses’ architectural history lesson fascinating and informative.’

‘Double pfffft! Vera Blake finds TadOlson’s crawly bum lick of Stickykisses boring waffle a big pile of…’

‘…thank you Vera, I love you too. Thank you Tad, at least someone’s paying attention!’

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‘Me supposes the real reason for less escape attempts has something to do with the guards in the watchtowers being armed with long range scoped rifles!’

‘Actually Vera, guards are not armed with automatic weapons in Bracemoor type prisons. No need. The prisoners aren’t high risk, they’ve got en-suite cells to themselves, and there’s a choice of sticky toffee pudding or jam roly poly and custard at weekends, so no-one’s interested in trying to bust out and finding themselves transferred to a maximum security prison with an increased sentence and .’

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‘TadOlson is confused why there is armed guards on view when Stickykisses has said…’

‘Yes, yes, I was coming to that. Don’t you notice that there are garden railings around the prison – not a barbed wire fence?’

‘TadOlson notices this. TadOlson is confused and intrigued.’

‘Moonlight Falls closed its prison a year ago due to a lack of use – most low to medium risk prisoners serve their time in Twinbrook.’

‘TadOlsen says what?’

‘It was being converted into a leisure complex by the local authorities, until last month the contractors moved out abruptly and armed police moved in. There’s been rumours around town of vans leaving the Moonlight Falls’ Commonwealth Court building in the dead of night disappearing into here – this must be where that Simmie claiming to Anne Frank was being held.’

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‘You says Bracemoor prisons were good, but Frankly Anne said hers was smelly old dump!’

‘As it would be if most of the fixtures and fittings had been ripped out while they were in the middle of converting it – remember Vera, this has been brought back into emergency use as a place of confinement.’

‘Oh. Me sees. So how does we gets in past armed guards Miss Cleverclogs- and back out again? Dig a tunnel? Break through the fence where there’s a blind spot the guards can’t see?’

‘No – we walk straight by them in full view.’

‘You nuts or something.’

‘No, clever. It’s nearly time for the change of the guards from the night shift to the morning shift. Those ones you can see will be tired and in no mood for anything which may delay them knocking off duty and getting to bed, and the prison governor won’t be present for hours. They’re at their most vulnerable to a deception, so here’s what we’ll do…’

A few minutes later…

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‘What d’ya little peckerheads want? This is a restricted area!’

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‘Ish, Ash Osh, HOW!

‘Say what?’

‘Good morning sir, we are the Glenvale County Elfins, Pioneers and Venturers of the Kindred of the Kibbo Kift.’

‘The what? The Kibbo Kift? What the cotton pickin’ hell’s that? A breakfast cereal?’

rotlics part 38 - 7

‘Most amusing, I’m sure, sir. Most know us simply as the Woodcraft Folk, an organisation dedicated to the education and empowerment of children within a sustainable and cooperative society in harmony with the environment…’

‘What? You’re goddamn tree huggers, ain’t ya?’

‘…without any paternalistic, militaristic or royalist bullshit, whether it be quasi-, crypto-, or literal, and regardless or race, creed or gender…’

‘I guessed as much! Well I don’t want any of your Girl Scout cookies or lentil burgers in your case, so scram!’

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‘Ahem, we are actually here at the invitation of your governor – granted, a little earlier than planned due to transportation issues – for the guided tour he arranged so kindly for us last week at nine hundred hours sharp. I’m sure you have a reception area we can wait inside out of the elements and harms way until…’

‘… hey wait a minute, I know nothing about any visit! There was nothing on the Duty Brief!’

rotlics part 38 - 9

‘I can assure you Sir this was arranged in conjunction with the local council in Moonlight Falls. Of course, it was at short notice, but we were delighted to take the opportunity to increase our awareness in social justice and rehabilitation into the community issues. I can only assume that it will be on the Duty Brief for the morning shift when…’

‘Hang on? Where’s your guardian? Why isn’t there an adult with you.’

‘It is Kindred practice to encourage the empowerment of young people at every opportunity in accordance with the Law of Fellowship, as such I was appointed Speaker for our group for this trip by the County Althing…’

‘… if TadOlson may interrupt, Stickykisses, TadOlson would find it highly desirous of Sir Guard to allow Stickykisses, Vera Blake and TadOlson inside before TadOlson needs a new pair of pants from drinking too much soya milk and eating too many lentil burgers on the bus ride to Moonlight Falls!’

‘Vera Blake? Hey, wait a minute, I’ve heard of that name?’

‘[muttering] Uh oh, Tad, we’ve been rumbled. I think we’re better…’

rotlics part 38 - 10

‘Yeah, me bet you’ve heard of that name! You gay mister? Me bet you gay with that moustache!’

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‘Hey, don’t fall me a faggot you little pus splodge!’

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Oooo, you is being big homophobic poopy pants – and in front of children, mister! Dat’s not very nice – and it’s against the terms and conditions of employment with any governmental agency as agreed with all cities, counties and nations affilated to the Council of the United Nations of The Sims. In fact, me bets you don’t have any gay, ethnic minority or disabled Simmies working here, which is also against the Equal Opportunities charter for all Simmie U.N. affiliates!’

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‘Nice try, you little brat! You’ve no adult witnesses to corroborate your little social justice warrior tittle tattle tale!’

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‘Me don’t need one. Me knows all Simmie prisons have microphoned security cameras covering all entrance and exit points recording to digital memory as routine. All any investigating authority has to do is ask the prison for the recording for this time, and yous is in big ploppy pool.’

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‘TadOlson is wondering whether Stickykisses knows what Vera Blake is doing?’

‘She’s rolling, that’s what – shhhh!’

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‘Why you little… I oughta…’

‘You’ll do what mister? Me dares you, just dares you! Yous hasn’t the bottle!’

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‘OW! HE HIT ME! HE HIT ME WITH HIS BIG NASTY GUN!’

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‘I never touched her! I swear! You hit yourself off that gun!’

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‘Now yous has done it! Me going to tell about you big Poopy Pants down at the Commonwealth Court, and all the newspapers,  and Boobiestrap who wot does Sim Secret too! Den The Mare’s Nest will come and get you!’

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‘Do you really think I can be that easily intimidated you little dweeb?’

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‘The question yous has to ask yousself, Ossifer of the LOL, is does yous feel luckies – well does you… PUNK?

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‘Alright, alright, you win – HEY, CHARLIE, GET THE MAIN DOOR OPEN AND LET THESE LITTLE DIPSTICKS IN, WILL YA?’

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‘Thank you Officer, and may we commend your diligence to duty, which we will be certain to pass onto your superiors.’

‘TadOlson would also like to thank the Duty Officer for the Duty Officer’s cooperation with TadOlson, Stickykisses and Vera Blake.’

‘Well said, Tad. Erm… Vera, we believe you have something to say as well?’

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Merci Buckets, Ossifer Of The LOL, and be quicker about it next time!’

‘Get out of my sight before I change my mind and really use this gun on your head!’

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‘Vera?’

‘Wot?’

rotlics part 38 - 26

‘I’ll give you that one. Well done.’

‘Me so pleased with your grottichewed!’

‘Hrrrmph!’

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‘TadOlson is curious how Vera Blake knew that was going to work?’

‘Me’s cased more prisons, police stations and other establishments of law and order than yous’ had hot dinners. Also, me’s picked up plenty of tips from Crazy Anne MadameLee when a Comrade on how to cause lotsa bovver all over the joint with political correctness bullshit! Me luv the culture of victimhood – it let’s me behave like a little shit with impooity!’

rotlics part 38 - 28

Impunity, Vera, impunity – and thank you on lessening my faith on the inevitable march of societal progress. But you got us by that freaking arsebucket, and that’s what counts.’

‘Dat was easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. Now for the hard sums stuff…’

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‘You said it, Vera. If getting past the front gate was tough, the real quandry begins now – so if you two come up with any ideas, let’s be hearing it.’

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‘We have about two hours at best to case this joint before our cover blows, by which time we need to be long away from here with whatever – or whoever – we’ve found.’

PART FORTY TO FOLLOW!

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