Dear WordPress, Now These Two Trolls Are In Jail, Any Chance Of Wiping Their Sites From Your Servers?

This has been a good week for troll-haters, as two bumnuggets on WordPress are finally getting the Christmas they deserve with long stints in prison.

joshua bonehead jailed at last throw away the key

First up is Joshua Bonehill-Paine – a trolling little twat who has been self-styling himself for some time ad nauseum as a ‘rising star of Britain’s far right’  – in reality he’s a basement dweller who has been trolling the internet in various guises since 2008: his attempts to join just about every far right party in the UK has been met with rejection and so he started his own (membership = one!) – clearly they’re not that desperate for members!

This failed public schoolboy and Conservative Party reject been running a blog on WordPress for some time posting a large number of hoaxes about children being kidnapped by Muslim grooming gangs, Jews taking over the world (blimey, that’s a new one!) and other staple bullshit loved by the more knuckle trailing elements in the hope that the big kids would let him join their kewl gangs (ie. what calls itself the National Front thesedays, the English Defence League, etc).

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Aw, isn’t that sad? Yep, it isn’t! Parting is such sweet bloody brilliant. Pity he wasn’t also jailed for all his other trolling activities, but that’s Britain for you…

The police finally had enough of him (they were pulling him up almost once every three months for trolling for one reason or another) and charged him with incitement and he’s now been jailed for three years and four months (of which he will serve about just over one year – typical!).

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So WordPress, any chance of having this trolling bumnugget’s site shut down now that he’s going to be spending a well earned term in jail eating porridge rather than Christmas pud? You know, before he comes back out having had plenty of time to think up a whole new trolling angle to go for?

richard brittain jailed serves him right

‘Benevolent stalker’? That’s up there with ‘compassionate trolling’ and ‘serial killer with a conscience’ in the bullshit world of today’s hobby sociopath…

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Elsewhere, another creepy bumnugget on WordPress – ‘Countdown’ winning basement dweller and failed novelist Richard Brittain –  is also going to be warming a prison bunk this Christmas, despite trying to play the mental illness card to escape what was little more than attempted murder in pursuit of some tabloid headlines for his shitty book.

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Yes, and he’s a stalker on top.

Brittain is another of those pseudo-intellectuals who has been none too happy about fading into the background whilst lesser specimens of humanity have been getting much much.

Yes, he also has a You Tube account to post self-vids for his 'fans'. Words fail...

Yes, he also has a You Tube account to post self-vids for his ‘fans’. Words fail…

But then he did choose to have acquired his fifteen minutes of fame via Channel 4’s ‘Countdown’ TV show (one of those earning millions from advert revenue shows where the prizes for winning are bugger all – usually some sort of crap cut glass trophy that looks suspiciously like a giant paperweight – because those taking part are doing it for an ego trip to show how ‘smart’ they are to the world) – rather than one of those dreadful showbiz talent contests where he might have actually earned some real money for his time and efforts. Not that smart when you think about it!

But we digress.

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Matters came to a head (no sick joke intended – you’ll see why in a moment) when he began getting trolled over his latest literary disasterpiece as you can see above.

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Brittain was already known on Wattpad (the mainly fanfiction site) as having MadameLee tendencies when it came to artistic critique of his efforts. Whenever someone is known to react strongly, they tend to attract those wishing to troll them ‘for a laugh’ – because being an obnoxious little shit over the internet to random strangers doesn’t carry any consequences with it, right?

(You all know where this story’s leading, don’t you? And this wasn’t even in America, but in dear old Blighty!)

c/o Archive.com for reasons which will become obvious...

c/o Archive.com for reasons which will become obvious… Note the part where she says ‘I will hunt you down’ which you may find ironic later…

Enter into our story one Paige Rolland – PaigeyLou and PaigeyRants on Wattpad – someone who has been milking her sob-story about the events which were to unfold to a certain disreputable tabloid which has been doing its level best to sanctify her ever since without bothering to mention that she and madman Brittain had a bit of a history with one another to begin with…

Wattpad, you see, is a bit of a troll’s paradise, with wannabe writers with whacked out egos running up sock puppet accounts to trolls those who they don’t like or ‘diss’ their ‘besties’. If ever a place encapsulated the Jeckyl And Hyde character of some – insofar as their internet persona is concerned – Wattpad is the classic. She decided that repeat tormenting of a set target would be an ideal way to spend her evening after a hard day stacking supermarket shelves. Of course, she could have spend her time more productively, such as studying for her midwife course, but never mind…

You know the drill – trolling dressed up as ‘constructive criticism’ when it’s more about trying to get a reaction out of the target because they’re known to fly off the handle. We’ve all saw it often enough in the Simming world. Nowadays they’ve got a cute little phrase for this, it’s called ‘catfishing’. Nope, sorry, a troll is a troll is a troll – and all the revisionism in the world is never, ever going to get us to swallow the latest reinvention of the old ‘trolls are actually very creative individuals, actually, man…’ horseshit.

Paige Rolland managed to write up a ‘review’ which was longer than the prologue of the bloody book she admitted was the only part of it she’d read (at least that’s what she said at the start – it changed later…), which she posted up on Amazon for maximum damage, er we mean effect.

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This wasn’t a review, this was a deliberate attempt to pour oil on troubled waters and then chuck a lit match on top. ‘Oh please’, ‘Ugh, I can’t’ and ‘rookie mistakes’ alone (from the Ladybird Book of Trolling) ought to draw suspicions long before the rest of the text with added personal attacks did: the last paragraph is little more than a sixth former level attempt at the close of trying to be clever and dress it up as a ‘proper’ review, rather than baiting.

But of course, it wasn’t as if it was going to have any real life repercussions, would it?

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smiley-shocked032  smiley-shocked032

You couldn’t make it up, could you?

Except actually in this case, you could – in a manner of speaking. Amid the handwringing and ‘oh the humanities’ from the tabloids, they missed out the most chilling part of all – that Brittain’s actions were a carbon copy of one of his characters actions in another of his planned books… as if he was hoping to use this ‘assault’ (we think striking someone with a full wine bottle is more like attempted murder, but whatever…) as a way back to regain his fame and sell his books on the back of his infamy.

Thankfully one StumpyDave over on LiveJournal did the goods…

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Or to quote from the bumnugget himself

‘When Rupert was trolled online, all of his problems came to the fore. He became a cauldron of seething excitations. Rupert immersed himself in The Wind in the Willows and saw the Piper at the Gates of Dawn.

He went to Scotland again, but this time ruled by an opposite force to that which had guided him the first time…

Rupert walked into a supermarket the following day, in automatic mode, and projected the devil inside him onto an innocent person he had been criticised by, striking her with a bottle of wine. He fled to Edinburgh, before getting a train to North Berwick.’

But let’s hear it from the horse’s mouth:

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As this Lawrence Windrush appears to have hastily erased all evidence of his existence lately (but strangely enough not the praise of Brittain’s book), we’ll hazard a guess this is Brittain sockpuppeting again.

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Incidentally, we ought to also mention that Paige Rolland went back to edit her original review to include, bizarrely under the circumstances, one last swipe at Brittain – and to buggery that this could have easily blown the trail on the grounds of Brittain’s defence claiming adverse publicity would nullify any chance of a fair trail (thankfully CCTV evidence of the attack meant it was an open-and-shut case). Now the subject of criticism herself over her behaviour amid the understandable horror and sympathy, it proved her turn to be none too good at getting stick over her own behaviour.

On the one hand, nothing excuses assault over a review of a book – no matter how petty spiteful the motives, and more’s the pity Brittain’s stalking behaviour on top with another girl didn’t warrant a longer sentence as a clear danger to the public. On the other… a very stark lesson to all trolls out there that no matter how ‘smart’ you make think you are, there’s always at least one victim of yours smarter than you, one even more deranged than you, and if it happens to be the same person, maybe you ought to have remembered the old adage that evil begets evil.

In any case, with Brittain also now spending quite a few Christmasses in jail to come, high time WordPress removed or at least took off line all his blogs, especially to avoid him being able to use the platform to cash in his notoriety and sell his books.

thatsit  thatsit

manul says you effing bumnuggets

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