And The Last Word For 2015 Goes To Lauryl, Lucifer Sam, Hazel And Yew

lost island lauryl on new year's eve 2015

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‘At last! A dialling tone!’

‘Uh oh, I’m outta here!’

What’s the matter, Hazel?

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‘If she’s phoning the V-E-T, last time they visited, the three of us were walking funny for a week?’

Why, had you hurt your little pawsy wawsies?

‘I’d like to see you bumnuggets walk properly after having an ice cold thermometer shoved up your…’

Erm, thank you and goodnight, Yew! At least Lauryl’s other two kitties are a little less skittish…

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… if only because they’re two busy knocking seven bells out of one another as per usual!

‘Shaddup Mares, we’re feline fine! Mistress is only calling on her merchant to see why they haven’t ordered any more of her lemonade.’

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‘… yes … yes I’m sure about the recipe … no, I’m not going to add extra sugar in, it will spoil the test… what do you mean, people aren’t drinking it? Scrubbing their bathroom tiles with it? Colonic irrigation? What? The Simgurus are putting a motion before the Council of the United Nations of the Sims to have it classified as a WMD?’

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‘I don’t understand it, Ruskoline. They said people found it an acquired taste – and when I asked them to explain why, they said whenever anyone drank it, they acquired an urge to pour the bottle down the sink.’

‘So all your bottles of Lost Island Lemonade are useless?’

‘No – apparantly it was discovered in the process that nothing quite unblocks drains and sinks like it.’

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‘Maybe the recipe needs some adjusting? A secret additional ingredient to give it a distinct taste which everyone will love?’

‘Hmmm, okay, I suppose it’s worth a try? But what sort of unique ingredient can you sneak into lemonade?’

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‘HALIBUT! But of course! Everyone loves the taste of halibut! I’ll bet there’s not a single soft drinks manufacturer on earth that’s ever thought of putting that into lemonade!’

Yes, Lauryl, with quite good reason we should imagine…

‘Shaddup Mares, you big bunch of floppy otters – if people will put Worcester Sauce with dissolved anchovies in it into Bloody Marys, Caesars and Micheladas, the world is ready for lemonade with a daring dash of demersal piscine!’

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‘But before I try my new angle, I need to get angling! Oi, watch out you furry purry wretches!’

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‘Let me get this straight, Ruskoline and Chuckie, she’s going to try putting fish into lemonade?’

‘Well it’s probably a lot less stupid than putting horse meat into beefburgers, or an Origin patch into your computer, or Valve your bank card details…’

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‘Or Donald Trump into the White House!’

‘For cluck’s sake, don’t even think that – or we chickens will really be coming home to roost – and digging ourselves a nuclear bunker under this chicken coup!’

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‘Anyway chicks, got to dash – I’ve an article to write about what a little bird told me Twallan, Lady Emillye, Bookygirl and MadameLee got up last Kraftdinnerland National Day in The Beautiful Maggie down in Cabbagetown after one Maple Collins too many!’

Erm, quite! Perhaps bringing matters back to Simming, maybe you Yew would like to give us a few words on how successful you feel Sims 4 has proven in it’s first full year and the prospects of luring the remaining Simmers over to playing it?

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Well okay, only one word will do. Maybe we’ll get more sense out of Lauryl whilst she’s fishing for new ways to make her lemonade even less palatable than EA’s Whale of Fail.

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‘It’s funny Mares – two years ago there I was all angry and defiant – and to an extent hurt that we were all being tossed aside after only five years and shitty support from EA and those Simguru bastards. But two years on, I’ve never felt better, or more hopeful for the future of Sims 3 now we’re rid of those tossers.’

Yes, but now we have a Simming community that’s broken three large ways. There’s no point in anyone kidding that since Simmers have become spread all over the place with little in the way of a central focii anymore, it’s got an awful lot quieter. The fracturing has caused old friends to drift apart, and in turn Simmers to drift away from the game for good. This year we lost Black Pearl Sims – one of the links to the very earliest years of the Simming comminuty; and Sims Oasis – the last of the TSC orientated blogs and forums – finally gave up the ghost. We can’t help but feel there could be lean days ahead…

‘Simmers come, Simmers go, and Simmers come back again. Look at Aarin, Bookygirl, Cloverstardropper… all the way down to Yahtzami and Zhivan. Look at yourselves – hardly a hive of activity this year. Everyone goes through periods of their lives where interests have to take a back seat to more pressing concerns. So long as those who can stick around do stick around – the Vidkid20’s, the Rflong7/13’s, the Writin_Reg’s, the MidnightPearl’s, the Sharkloverplayer’s, the Taffers at Boolprop and so on, they will have a community to come back to – and the new Simmers to come will have the reassurance of a sense of real continuity no other game can touch and with it that we are not simply another fad game they will grow bored of in less than six months.’

‘You know what Mares? I think the Simming community is going to come out from all this just fine. Just wait and see.’

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