Switching On For The Holidays

And now for the atypical end of the year random assortment of ramblings from Cloverstardropper stateside, who will only be getting the new year when we will be waking up to our first hangovers of 2017!

Ignore the day lines on these, by the way, they’re all over the place!

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You do realise how many people on the planet want to murder you when you say things like that?

Elsewhere, her artistic musings appear to be taking a new and eighteen plus direction:

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‘Pussy’? ***Sigh!*** Yes, that usually gets the art establishment interested – Peter Paul Rubens made an entire career from women getting their kit off, and there was a very good reason why Tiziano Vecelli was nicknamed Titian you know…

Speaking of pussy:

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Awwwww!

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Elsewhere, we thought momentarily The Dominating Crabbiness had taken up a new exercise regime:

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Nothing though beats getting a punnet of strawberries and blending them for your own 100% Strawberry smoothie.

For those wondering, Ramune is not that American band famous for murdering ‘Baby I Love You’, but is a Japanese fruit flavoured carbonated soft drink best known for still using the old fashioned marble neck bottles discontinued in favour of metal caps (cheaper and stopped children smashing the bottles to get the marble inside back in the days when firms encouraged users to return their empties to the shop for recycling).

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Erm, because they’ve got a moustache?

Matters however soon got dubious:

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yewot  yewot

We neither want to know where this came from, nor the mods involved.

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They’re all perverts. Even for California. Don’t trust ’em. ‘The latest in fashion, beauty and home’ – euphamisms, all of it euphamisms!

wag_finger  smiley-shocked032

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Unless you run a shoe shop – whereupon it’s the only trustworthy employees you will ever have. Let’s face it, who wants to spend all day working dealing with people’s gross feet. Don’t even start us on podiatrists – who used to be called chiropodists until they started getting all pretentious and after much sole searching (sorry!) decided they wanted to be called something that sounded less like an Olympic event.

On a similar vein of corporate fetishes, Switch has been condemning this year’s fashion for gaming company necrophilia:

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thumb  rant

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Nor is it your beautiful house, your beautiful wife, or your beautiful car. And you may ask yourself, well, how did you get here?

tonguedrop edited for mare's nest use    tonguedrop edited for mare's nest use

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That’s right Switch, get those Overwatch players over to our side by stealth!

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Sims 4 now has Frank Sidebottom in it? Ooo, blimey!

Ugh, obscene imagery! Do not go to the Dark Side of The Farce, it leads only to misery.

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Hmmm, don’t think much of the new Yoda.

In an equally worrying development, those damned otters have realised that since Richard Dawkins is finished after getting dumped by Lalla Ward, he’s not going to herald in a new era of science to be reigned over by the Allied Atheist Alliance, and so they’re taking matters into their own hands, er we mean paws.

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Otters with Uzis. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

‘Kill the granny eaters table eaters!’

Elsewhere, Cloverstardropper has been doing her bit for Secret Escapes – or maybe not.

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Probably something to do with her forthcoming role as Studio Ghibli’s answer to Disney’s Lilo and Stitch (sorry Jessamine Diane!):

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Switch and Lettuce – you heard it here first!

Elsewhere, here comes America’s answer to The Full Monty:

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Or maybe not.

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Tsk, you need to stop worrying about a girl’s chest size when you play a game!

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At least it wasn’t going to break your computer like some of the stuff you’ve been downloading…

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Playing Klaus Nomi at twice the speed probably resulted in some ultra high note that cause your PC to fuse and sent every dog in the neighbourhood frantic!

Of course, with this being her first election she was eligible to vote in, Switch took an active interest in the democratic process – and discovered first hand Mencken’s warning in the Baltimore Evening Sun of 26th July 1920 was starting to come true:

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‘On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.’
So with some out west now talking about trying to do what the Confederates failed to do in 1861, where does our Switch stand on the matter?
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So we take it you’ll be ditching that damn striped rebel colonies blanket and getting it replaced with the following?
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Ah come on. if you’re going to piss off the Tea Party – Red Neck alliance, you may as well go for broke!
And unlike General Lee, all you have to do is say ‘send in the U.S. Army against us, we’ll just cut off all your access to the internet and porn sites since almost all of it is based out here!’ – you’ll have those damn Yankees surrendering before twenty four hours is up!

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