Archive for November, 2017

Raiders Of The Lost Island Consignment Shop – Part 44

Posted in Raiders Of The Lost Island Consignment Shop on November 30, 2017 by themaresnest

Last time out, Switch-Cloverstardropper and Aarin (with Chyla, Jon Snow, Sansa Stark and Shireen Baratheon in tow) had found themselves thrown together trying to find a way of stopping the massive Dark Matter leaks (along with Aarin’s backfiring Dalek invasion force sabotaged by Vigmed) before it destroyed them all.

‘… and as you join us here again at the ninth, the Everglow Academy & Coliseum, conditions are improving mildly, the wind relenting…’

‘…as Shireen Baratheon steps up, knowing she has to improve on the five it took her to finish the last if she is to have any chance of staying in the match…’

‘She takes the shot… certainly plenty of focus in that stroke…’

‘… the look inscrutible, even knowing how much rests on this, going in at such a tricky angle…’

‘…OH MY WORD, SHE’S DONE IT! Will you look at that, the smashed LLAMA box receiver beacon’s also generated some sort of shock on the three shittily meshed Daleks standing guard over it. Now that’s how you play yourself right back into contention!’

‘Two shots, that’s all it took. After the trials at the eight, she birdies the ninth, and with nine LLAMA boxes now kaput and only seven left in operation, now standing at two under par, she’s well on her way to an astonishing victory which will certainly make up for disappointment last year when her father and his mad priestess fuckrag had her burned to a crisp…’

‘Huh! Talk about sheer dumb luck – or rather Shireen dumb luck!’

Dumb luck? Come on, Aarin, that was a shot in a million.’

‘I’m not talking about the shot, Beetlebrows, I’m talking about the box frying all those Daleks. That means we can at least go and have a look at them properly this time, which we were unable to do at any of the previous ones because it only shocks those in close proximity to the box.’

There? You want us to go over there?’

‘Oh do try and show some spine.’

‘They’re dead, aren’t they? Same as at the other boxes we saw that happen.’

‘We’ll be showing more than spine, but considerable amounts of innards not so gently sautéed if those Daleks aren’t completely dead when we wander within firing range. I’ve never heard of anyone suffer anything more serious than being turned into a Tragic Clown from a malfunctioning LLAMA box, so they may only be temporarily out of action.’

‘My thoughts also, Chyla, so Ms Switch and her friends can go over to check while we stay back her.’

‘Oh no, you’re the science expert, this is your department, you’re coming too.’

‘I am much too important to be risked, if I get killed you will have no chance of reversing the Dark Matter leak.’

‘If you think you two are going anywhere by yourselves any time soon, you are sadly mistaken.’

‘And what do you mean by that?’

‘Listen Great Knit, if you two think I trust you now any more than I did several hours ago when you were ready to flatten the world as part of your latest HONS brained schemes, you really much think I’ve herped the derp. Besides, we’re more at risk if we split up. We stick together until we’ve shut all the boxes and gained access to the Bloom Institute to stabilise all this Dark Matter spewing out – and that’s final!’

‘Haven’t you been paying attention? There’s been less and less Daleks around each box. They’re supposed to be guarded by five, this one only had three. The last one at Bell’s Barbell House didn’t have any – and it still took Findus Crispy Pancake Face five shots to succeed.’

‘So what?’

‘It means someone or something else is thinning out the Daleks. The town should be swarming with them by now being spat out from sixteen boxes, but six hours on and they can’t even defend them. I’ll bet you they’ve been forced to regroup around one box they’ve got a chance of defending successfully because they know if they lose all their spawn points, they’re doomed.’

‘Oh yeah? What realm of military expertise did you come up with that one from? Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War ?’

‘No – from four hundred and sixty five hours and forty five minutes of playing Battlefield 4!

‘Point taken. But you’re coming with me and Shireen, Chyla can babysit the rest.’

‘Huh! More dats like we’ll be ones babysitting her!’

‘Why are you talking like that Jon Snow? Are you trying to impersonate dear dead Ygritte?’

‘No, you twats, I’ve got a trapped sneeze from all this bloody tree pollen!’

‘Two hours. Remember, that’s all we have, so keep your eyes peeled for anything, no matter how innocuous that could be a clue to what they’re up to here.’

‘TadOlson is rather concerned that those microphoned security cameras Vera Blake mentioned earlier will equally be keeping their eyes and ears on Stickykisses, Vera Blake and TadOlson, significantly reducing the time Stickykisses, Vera Blake and TadOlson have for investigating before Stickykisses, Vera Blake and TadOlson are…’

‘Which is why we don’t talk unless we have to and with the greatest economy of words. Now come, forget downstairs, it’s the first floor we want.’

‘TadOlson would like to know why Stickykisses wants TadOlson and Vera Blake to follow Stickykisses in omitting the ground floor.’

‘The only barred windows where anyone had appeared at have been on the top floor, not the ground, which means that’s the only jail cells in operation. Which means they fear escape by tunnelling from within or out. Which means, in turn, they really have a lot to be paranoid about those being kept here. Logic.’

‘Pffft! Boooooring! Me’s going to go exploring with a good book!’

What’s this? The Demon Baby reading? Has she turned over a new leaf (excuse the pun)?

‘Vera! No! Come back… oh never mind. Come TadOlson, we’ve work to do.’

[whispered] ‘But what does Stickykisses want TadOlson to look at?’

‘All of it!’

‘Every notice on every door, every note on every board…’

‘ …the sounds you hear from behind every door…

‘ … but do so like you don’t care. If that means walking back and forth past the same place several times, fine – whatever you do, don’t linger for too long, that’s what will draw attention. Remember this is an educational trip, so we’re supposed to be completely bored!’

‘Hey, you kids okay there?’

‘Oh, erm, yes, it’s all so very ***YAWN!*** fascinating. Wonderful. So glad we came. Really.’

‘Yeah, sure. Whatever.’

[whispers] ‘And that’s how it’s done! Now get weaving!’

‘So?’

‘This Dalek is no more. It has ceased to be. Neither Davros or The Great Pumpkin is going to make it voom again after getting four million volts of LLAMA box power through it. This is an ex-Dalek.’

‘Not much gets past her, does it? She ought to get a job with NRaas Industries!

Oi! Stop breaking the fourth wall!

‘Like I said, Great Knit, I’m not the scientist around here – you are. You ought to be the one coming over here and giving these things a good poke.’

‘You don’t poke Daleks, not unless those ones run on eight bit processors.’

‘Bleh! Wot?’

‘Never mind. Can you smell anything?’

‘Listen, toothpick, you’re the one who eats all that tofu and funny raw fish stuff, if anyone’s been playing the butt bongos around here it’s…’

‘I didn’t mean that, insect! I meant is there any tell tale smell of pumpkin, lightly burned or otherwise?’

‘Erm, no.’

‘Hmmmm.’

‘What do you mean “Hmmmm”?’

‘When someone says “hmmmm”, it usually means that they mean “hmmmm”.’

‘Thanks. Big help. What are you looking at?’

‘Oh, nothing. Thought I saw something. Mistaken. Try banging sides. No, not your sides, the sides of the Daleks. Hmmmm.’

‘What’s with the “hmmmm” again?’

‘Even from here I thought they sounded hollow – more hollow than a Simguru’s word. Hmmmm…’

‘Don’t hmmmm again! You’re not a bee.’

‘Mmmmm?’

‘Aurgh! I hope your favourite magazine’s next issue gives you paper cuts.’

‘Uh, excuse me, you both said these mechanical things are controlled by something inside operating them.’

‘Yes. A pumpkin. Don’t ask us to explain that part again – just accept for now that little of this world is gonna cut any dips with you.’

‘I know. But now they don’t work, it sounds like they are empty, and it happened after they were hit by the lightning flashes coming the top of the broken LLAMA box receiver. If that was the energy which makes the boxes transport people and objects from place to place, could it be that it made the Dalek cases act like a temporary LLAMA box and transported only the pumpkins inside to somewhere else?’

No it couldn’t, because… hold on, the Daleks have communication devices inside themselves – hence why they moved away from some of the boxes to regroup… and if I could tamper with the LLAMA network using modified digital equipment, there’s no reason why it couldn’t allow … what do you know, you’re proving my greyscaled friend to be more than some dumsel-in-distress in a puritan dress!’

‘Thanks. I think.’

‘The question is Aarin where did the pumpkins go?’

‘Back to their place of origin. Or are clogging up the network…’

‘… because the major flaw of the LLAMA network is it has no broadband type capacity to cope with multiple data carriage requests over a primitive level.’

‘Which would explain the lack of other Daleks coming through…’

‘That alone wouldn’t cause it, Shireen. But if the local Weather Stone has also been interfering with the LLAMA network tonight, it could have been enough to throw a judiciously timed spanner in the works.’

‘Along with the pumpkins.’

‘Silence, insect!’

Aarin, be nice to rubberface! You make it sound like you believe the Weather Stone has consciousness? ‘

‘When you have exhausted all other logical possibilities, Ms Switch, you have to start turning to new logics.’

‘Oh yeah, and what might that be. Go on, cover me with your awesomesauciness and I’ll tell you if it tastes good enough to go on a hot dog.’

‘[mutters] This is who I’m supposed to work with to save the entire of existence? I could almost get nostalgic for having Sabsyrina and Vintage Lydia back!’

‘Aarin! Nice! Bad Grannyeater – no cookie!’

‘[out loud] Very well! One of those in my expert opinion, which is considerable, is the Weather Stones appearing are this world or even this Simmerverse’s reaction to what we’ve been doing to it – to be breviloquent, trying to protect itself.’

‘Perhaps a power that a certain Winterbottom discovered a very long time ago the hard way during a certain little expedition out to Al-Simhara?

‘Yes, and perhaps paid the price for doing so. That, however, is another topic for another time…’

‘…in the meantime, things for us appear to be looking up.’

‘How? Oh, I see. Literally.’

‘Aarin, Switch, what exactly is a bumnugget.’

‘A word I never thought I would be ever glad to see.’

‘Typical Elphaba – even at a time like this she’s got to get her shiz and giggles! She wouldn’t be playing her hand so openly unless she and whoever she’s managed to round up to help her have got the bad guys on the run.’

‘No time to find out how – let’s round up Chyla, Jon Snow and Sansa Stark: time to keep that appointment with the Bloom Institute.’

PART FORTY FIVE TO FOLLOW – TOMORROW!

Simsophonique’s Silly Statement

Posted in Uncategorized on November 30, 2017 by themaresnest

 

Igazor decided that tact would be the better part of telling someone of their bumnuggetry.

SimplyJen-Simasaurus09 was more elaborate:

Exactly. There is still custom content being produced, there is still mods even being produced, it is absurd to say the game is ‘dead’.

And as Odonata68 says, a thread currently on two thousand, one hundred and eighteen pages seems to be a fine indication of a game in very rude health indeed.

 

You’ve Been LOLSimmed – Part 83

Posted in Uncategorized on November 30, 2017 by themaresnest

And in a packed programme tonight, we have:

Adamseve1231 (EA Forum), Gitte2001 (A Simmer’s Sim), Ripuancestor (EA Forum and The Chrysanthemum Tango) and Wibs (Sommelier Sims).

Enjoy!

Simasaurus09’s Unwanted Suitor

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29, 2017 by themaresnest

Taken from her Simblr:

Definitely the sort of date you wouldn’t want to be seen dead with!

 

Sorak4 Discovers Genie-us Is No Skin Off JoAnne65’s Nose

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29, 2017 by themaresnest

In other words – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

 

Nikkei Simmer’s Up All Night

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29, 2017 by themaresnest

Just in time for Christmas at his blog.

Because let’s face it, this is what it’s going to be like for so many parents once the holidays start:

 

And In A Packed Programme Tonight, Here’s Chyla’s Donkey’s Lagoon! (Something Else She Made An Ass Out Of…)

Posted in Uncategorized on November 28, 2017 by themaresnest

Eight years on here at The Mare’s Nest, and there is still always something new to discover about some old ground.

One of us was making some new LOLSims and needed to double check how many we were up to and also whether any ones in the current stockpile had already been used (mistakes can happen if not careful – making up two different captions for the same picture!).

Rather than going straight to your super soaraway Mare’s Nest, they decided to simply look it up using a search engine, whereupon they found that we weren’t the only ones doing posts entitled ‘You’ve Been LOLsimmed.’

Even more curious, they appeared to be also using our routine post start of ‘And in a packed programme tonight.’

Time to do some investigating – and the moral of the story soon became never, ever do any Maresnesting when you are in the middle of a packed library café with a mouthful of tea.

 

It was the title bar which did it, what looked like the drunken cousin of Hartley Hare from Pipkins.

(There’s another bit of nostalgia for Rflong7/13 sneaked in there!)

Now the initial suspicion of our member was that this particular attempt at a parody of The Mare’s Nest (there’s been so many down the years we’ve lost count – trouble is we’re far better parodying ourselves…) was the cackhandiwork of Sabsyrina aka Sabsyrinajackgurl, judging by the timeline.

Sabsyrina was Number Three of Jazz-Hands’ ‘Founding Fifteen’, a doltish ginger Canuck self confessed school bully with a tendency to intolerance of her fellow EA forum posters and starting grandiose projects despite the fact all evidence showed an inability to walk and chew gum at the same time.

Needless to say, we didn’t like her very much, and you will not be surprised to learn she’s changed little in adulthood.

Now at the time of 21st March 2010, Sabsyrina’s latest cunning ‘strikeback’ against us had failed and we were merrily rubbing her nose in it. She had a past record of abruptly running up blogs and all sorts of projects with little notice, it seemed to fit the bill, especially as she was denying to all it had been her despite being the only known Jazz-Hander (apart from Aarin, by then ‘missing’) with a WordPress account.

However the style didn’t match. It lacked her atypical petty vindictiveness and brattiness. It smacked too much of someone that wanted to be clever but had neither the talent or the intellectual capacity to match their pretensions.

Thus it seems more likely that this was the work of Chyla – Aarin’s wannabe deputy (well she certainly was a number two…) and one of those we really tended to turn the scorn on for, not least of all for not being anywhere near as smart as she liked to think she was (she thought herself the Hermione Grainger of the EA forum, but you could have beaten her IQ with the throw of one dart) and being old enough to know better than troll children; which she took great delight in doing on the EA forum.

A particularly nasty, vindictive piece of work, Croatia’s worst import to Australia since Jelena Dokic’s batty family and one we suspected sharing too much in common with her compatriots – that she turned on the ire on Jix2993 after they had revealed during Christmas 2009 that they were Jewish (and long after the rest of her compatriot had moved onto other targets) appeared par for the course.

(For the curious, Croatia happily exterminated 90% of all of its own Jews during the Holocaust – egged on by the Croatian branch of the Fransciscan order such as Father Tomislav Filipović-Majstorović who ran of Jasenovac concentration camp responsible for the deaths of a minimum 700 000 victims; few of the Ustaše responsible were ever brought to justice after the war, and are still regarded as ‘heroes’ in their country).

Hi! I’m Chyla! I still wear a nappy!

The big giveaway was that titsy tiny square font you can also see in the above header (the comparison of The Mare’s Nest to Claus von Stauffenberg – the attempted assassin of Hitler – says an alarming lot about how she viewed Aarin and the other Jazz-Handers.) which she used on her signatures and just about everything else.

She was the only one who seemed to think it was good. Which appears as good an epitaph as any for the moribund Donkey’s Lagoon. Pity about that logo – we’re almost tempted to give it a new lease of life elsewhere…

(Donkey’s Lagoon is actually part of the holiday resort of Lagoinha in Brazil, for those who are curious. Lagoa do Jegue. Every day a school day, eh? Anyway, we like donkeys. They make for great jackets!)

 

Still, it has been rather amusing that this should come to our attentions considering what we’ve been getting up to lately… ah, but more on that come the start of December. All in good time, our pretties, all in good time…