Archive for December 1, 2017

Raiders Of The Lost Island Consignment Shop – Part 45

Posted in Raiders Of The Lost Island Consignment Shop, Uncategorized on December 1, 2017 by themaresnest

‘Haven’t you been paying attention? … someone or something else is thinning out the Daleks…’

Here’s where you find out – plus someone you’ve not saw since Part 30!

Four AM in the morning, carried away by a Midnight Hollow…

‘So it has come to this.’

‘Hunted without rest by these automatons for hours. No matter where I go, no matter how many I destroy, still they come.’

‘The Pepper Grinder broken, the Catnip Teapot Cannon near spent. I prayed for better hallucinations, but there are none.

‘Now, trapped. I gyre to no path of escape.’

‘I’m not afraid to die. Times I’ve welcomed death!’

‘No time for mimsy, no time to be frumptious. There is still time for tea, for the last snicker-snacks of the Vorpel Blade.’

‘I do not like the ending to my tale. I do not understand it. But as with tales so with life.

‘So which of you will come forward to end this tale – and their own with it?’

‘Who will it be? This life is full of random death. Come on. WHO WILL IT BE?’

‘The killing machines inside. They are neutralised. But the house. Oh dear.’

‘The owners will have insurance. But what is this?’


‘She asks for death – it makes no sense.’

‘If it makes no sense, it is madness. More of this madness, but from human and machines.’

‘I see what I must do.’

‘No! No! Not the World Sweets Guide! The Aegis System! The Aegis System!’

‘Ah. Better.

‘System lock on all targets, commence target break down and filter.

‘Compile data on most suitable ordinance and deployment method.’

If you have not already guessed, young Ritsu – or to give her full title Ritsu Jiritsu Shikō Kotei Hōdai – is someone who likes to shoot from the hip. Literally.

Her surname, in case you are interested, means ‘Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery’.

No, her father was not Frank Zappa before you ask.

What is she packing?

Eight short range computer guided missiles with infra-red, radio signal and camera visual combined lock.

Four medium range SAM midi-missiles with lookdown-shootdown capability.

Two multi-purpose tactical launchers capable of firing a selection of lethal and non-lethal blast or chemical projectiles accurate to a thousand metres.

One packet of Skittles. Contains blue ones.

‘Ritsu! What are you doing? Have you forgotten what your Kurosensei has taught you?’

‘I … what … how … what am I seeing?’

‘Remember Ritsu, an assassin always takes care not only of their target, but of those around them! No innocent bystanders! No unnecessary damage or trauma! No tardies!’

‘Why… how am I seeing this? Stop it!’

‘I made nine hundred and eighty five modifications to you, silly! You didn’t think I would leave out a background app to monitor you whenever you use weapons to make sure you’ve not forgotten what you were taught in Kunugigaoka Chūgakkō Class 3E – safety first!’

‘But you’re getting in my vision and using my circuitry which could interfere in my calculations!’

‘Relax! Focus on the task in hand. You have all the tools you need to succeed – if you remain diligent!’

‘It’s hard to be dilligent when that stupid World Sweets Guide popped up again without me even asking!’

‘Oh well, that’s Javascript after an update for you!’

‘But have faith in yourself, Ritsu! Have faith in yourself as a trained assassin! Choose your spot and choose your shot – carefully!’


‘You were given all the training required to succeed. Now is your opportunity once more to demonstrate your expertise…

‘Probability of next shot neutralising killing machines is 99.95% …. uh, no, less than 0.001%…. uh, back up to 67.83896694%. Probability of surgically neutralising targets and avoiding unnecessary damage to lives and property is less than 0.0000003%.’

‘… clear your vision of emotion. Focus on what is important…’

‘Like Miss Irina Jelavić awesome perky teaching methods! Ooo hoo hoo! Aaargh! I didn’t mean that to happen!’

‘Now Kurosensei-san do you see why I had reservations about you downloading and remote installing additional software to my systems?’

‘I will refocus on my target … recalculate … I will not fail … uhhhh … ‘


‘Oh dear!’

‘Uhhhhhh … the Infernal Train … will I never be rid of it?’

‘No… not the train … something else. A new torment. Of fire and blood. I have not felt such a shock since Rutledge.’

‘What sort mote it be, and to what end? That burns the automatons and gimbles the green sward, enveloping inward and outward in a tulgey miasmer?’

‘A witch? Come to eat me? Truly my Wonderland has become a Wasteland of such nightmares that they are in competition for my mind…’

‘Don’t move Alice, until I’ve given you the once over – I said don’t move! You’ve a concussion, let it pass first. Ritsu got you, my pretty – and your little teapot too! But she saved your life – plumbob knows how. Let me give you the once over, then try standing up…’

‘What manner of malevolence and benevolence is this?’