Switch In April

It’s been a while since we mentioned the Dominating Crabbiness, so…

Oh plumbobs, not the ‘EA is pulling the plug on The Sims ‘ rumours again. They’re late this year mind. Considering it’s about the only EA game making any sort of money, we’d say it’s future is possibly more secure than EA’s.

You won’t. You will witter on and on about Alice Madness Returns instead. Trust us on that one.

Anyway, we don’t want to be a good ally. We want to be a good Axis.

You know, divebomb your front lawn, invade your house, steal all your wine and valuable works of art, and occupy it for the next four years whilst you attempt to smuggle British airmen dressed as French milkmaids from under our noses while shoving forgeries of The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies by Van Klomp into Knockwurst sausages and trying to distract us by getting barmaids to offer us services involving wet celery, flying helmets and egg whisks.

Alice in…

Typical blood rebel colonist – rejecting the tea!


Trust you to bring it to that level!

Worse than before? Nothing quite like having an ambition.

Since Lord Vetinari is Charles Dance by default (in the same way Death is Christopher Lee by default), we’ll give you that one.

Any questions?

Because you’ve not been taking your medication again, young crabperson!

There’s always Skyscraperfan… okay we’ll shut up!


Could be worse, you could have decided to spend millions of dollars you didn’t have on a San Francisco soccer team no one watches which goes bust after only one season solely for the pleasure of denying the New York Cosmos their hundred billionth North American Soccer League title – and cause the league to collapse in the process.

All hail the San Francisco Deltas, doing in 2017 what Chicago Sting did in the 1980s – beat that for going retro, kids!


Let’s be honest Cloverstardropper, San Francisco has never been the luckiest of cities when it comes to running sporting franchises. Best stick to something more cerebrally stimulating…

Okay, forget we said that!


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