Archive for the Uncategorized Category

And This Is Why We Prefer Wordpress To Dumblr

Posted in Uncategorized on September 18, 2018 by themaresnest

When you get messages like this sent to you over the weekend:

Does it fucking look like it?

Thanks for not bothering your arse introducing yourself properly and expecting we would somehow ‘know’ exactly who you are in relation to ourselves (eg. name on the EA forum or whatever else to do with Simming) – plain out rude!

 

Although to be perfectly blunt perhaps we’re better off not knowing (and no, it doesn’t appear to be Maddy444 before anyone asks) judging by the content of her Dumblr:

Somewhere in the distance, Pete Burns of Dead Not Alive is singing ♫ All I know is that to me, you look like you’re lots of fun ♪ – and we don’t bloody think.

She’s getting divorced – after a whole year of marriage (at least that’s the current story) – at the ripe old age of twenty three. Now we’ve got The Specials’ ‘Too Much Too Young’ going through our heads.

 

There’s nothing quite like working on a relationship, and that’s nothing quite like working on a relationship.

Even more bizarre, a mere five months earlier…

 

Yeah … before you say it, us as well thinking ‘what the plumbobs?!’

This had all the warning signs of another bloody emotional vampire looking for their next host to drain dry, like a housefly buzzing around the interwebs looking for someone to infect by contact with their virus of permanent morose, vomit their acrid self-pitying bile over you, before sucking up through the proboscis of their Dumblr all the empathy (real or fake) they can ingest from their hapless victims.

And we, with our past history of ‘white knighting’ (as Zhivan put it) Simmers, were going to be their next victim. Sorry, but when it comes to people we don’t know from Adam and/or those who only ever contact us or wave for our attention when they want something, these days we suffer from compassion constipation –  we couldn’t care a shit.

Go and haunt Rosemow – she’s usually game for that sort of bullshit with complete strangers.

In any case, this Maddie ToTheFlyingMachine Dumblrer’s not going to be any concern of ours again as we’ve blocked the f**ker – as we will anyone else who chooses to message us in such a rude manner.

You know what, judging by all the evidence you’ve got on your Dumblr, that man knows you better than you know yourself – or will admit to yourself.

 

Cloverstardropper’s Disco-vering The Danger Of Memes

Posted in Uncategorized on September 17, 2018 by themaresnest

in Cloverstardropper’s Disco-vering The Danger Of Memes

Oi! Switch! We’ve got a Boney M to pick with you, you bloody bumnugget!

‘Why? What have I done this time?’

This meme you keep posting on your Dumblr account!

‘What’s wrong with Earth Wind and Fire’s ‘September’?’ It’s a 70’s disco classic!’

How many times do you need to be told? There is no such thing as a 70’s disco classic! That’s just a story parents tell their children when they’re young to frighten them into brushing their teeth properly before they go to bed!

‘They’re right you know Switch – when you meme on Dumblr, because people are too lazy to put the settings on properly, it goes into everyone’s Dumblr feeds on their computers, their tablets, their smartphones – and just as abuse of social media led to putting a giant turd in the White House,  when you repeat meme, this is the end result.’

‘Ah come on, it’s not like anyone’s going to be made ill by it!’

‘Oh yeah? …’

‘Thanks to you, the Tyneham sisters, Elysia, Haily and Kirry have caught THE FUNK!’

‘Oh buttwings!’

It’s murder on the dance floor – almost an Abbatoir!

‘See what you’ve done? Bad clothes, even worse hairdos, dodgy half-rumbas done in catalogue model poses, lava lamps, all the sinister trappings of a 70’s funk night.’

‘Erm, well, ***cough!*** I admit this has been a ***splutter!*** regrettable consequence, but at least they’re happy – and getting some exercise.’

‘Exercise? Why don’t you take a look over at Haily in the DJ booth and then talk to me about silver linings…’

‘You’ve got her so messed in the mind from ODing your memes, she thinks she’s Mr Superbad!’

‘My God … what … what have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE?’

 

‘I’m warning you now, Switch, if this is the album length version, with the extra improvised Wilton Felder saxaphone solo, you’ll be lucky to get away with twenty years for this! You know as well as I do this is heading with hideous inevitability straight into Amii Stewart’s cover of ‘Knock On Wood’ next – and then we’ve lost them forever!’

‘I … I can put this right! I CAN FIX THIS! Just distract Haily for a moment and I’ll stick on Whitesnake ‘Here I Go Again’ or AC/DC ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ or Toto ‘Hold The Line’ …

‘You would do that as well? Is there nothing you wouldn’t stoop to, you unspeakable monster?’

‘But…’

‘I’d rather die – I’D RATHER DIE THAN BE THE CAUSE OF MY FRIENDS PLAYING AIR GUITAR!’

‘Remember kids. You may think you know what you are doing, messing with memes, but all it offers you is an endless spiral into darkness until you start believing your parents’ crap about their generation being more creative and talented than your own using only analogue equipment – by then, for medical intervention it’s too late!’

That was a Public Simformation Film.

Sulsulpixels Poses A Poser On Poses

Posted in Uncategorized on September 16, 2018 by themaresnest

When is a pose not a pose?

When it is this surely to plumbobs:

‘Please don´t reupload, claim as your own or other nonsense’– erm, why would anyone want to?

Why would anyone want to bother clogging up 148.9kbs of their packages folder for the benefit of the sort of non-pose found in old fashion catalogues and a Simmie whose face appears to be showing they’ve just had taken a particular large dump of such smoothness of action and moist cohesiveness of expulsion she almosts wishes she could do it all over again.

 

Sulsulpixels has done plenty of poses before, and for the life of us neither can think of any possible use there is for this when you can get more or less the same via the NRaas Animator mod function using the existing base game animations and the pause button or rapid firing on the C key.

And you lot can shut up as well!

 

It’s A Snip Over On Dumblr

Posted in Uncategorized on September 16, 2018 by themaresnest

Just to prove we do some original stuff on our account there as well, Switch has done the following repost to which we decided to do our own take on matters…

You still don’t remember it?

Bobbie Bailey thought her first term was going to be a snip, but she got more than she bargained for when she became a boarder at St. Clare’s after her SRS SOS!

Unable to get gender reassignment surgery from her local cash-strapped NHS Trust after its board is forced to the heartbreaking conclusion it needs to replace all their 2015 Porsche Turbos for 2018 Aston Martins if they are to continue to provide the same standard of service for patients, her good friend from the official Sims 3 forum, Jazwinder Asif (genius daughter of mad dictator General Asif of oil rich micro-state Majnunistan), a boarder at St. Clare’s, kindly offers to do one for free.

It’s only then Bobbie learns when Jazz isn’t Simming, studying or playing for the St. Clare’s hockey team, she’s been running a secret surgery within the Creepy Crypt to ensure her school chums get all the breast enhancements, liposuction, trepanning, ECT and other treatments they need without having to sell organs illegally to fund treatment at nearby MediMammon private health clinic.

Jazz became fully qualified at only twelve years old after sending away her completed final exam paper (plus twenty Daily Milk wrappers and a cheque for £15.99) to the University of Bums on Seats after completing their correspondence course in Applied Surgery For Advanced Instagram Users, and there’s not a single girl alive who doesn’t agree Jazz is the best secret surgeon St. Clare’s ever had!

All that’s required is to get her best internet friend through the hallowed gates of St. Clare’s, and away from the suspicions of the evil Sixth Former Penelope Fitzwater-Montmorency and the other members of St. Clare’s Society for Young Conservatives.

After passing the school’s rigorous entrance exam and acquiring the required term funding (courtesy of incriminating photographs of the school bursar Old Carruthers of an intimate and highly instructive nature), Bobbie and Jazz quickly find their problems are going to be more than merely amateur schoolgirl surgery at the dead of night, catburglary of MediMammon and the blood bank for supplies and equipment, antiandrogens going down like Smarties and endless stunts to get out of gym classes; but a fifty year old mystery, a conspiracy against the school, danger, action, a motorcycle chase across Dartmoor, trending on Twitter, duct-tape and superfluous testicles all over the shop.

And the cheese! To die for.

What do you mean you’ve never heard of it?

You’ll be telling us you’ve never heard of ‘Catastrophic Catoptromancy at St. Clare’s’ next we suppose!

 

Simguru Grant Rodiek Shows Some Bumnuggets NEVER Learn Their Lesson!

Posted in Uncategorized on September 15, 2018 by themaresnest

We decided to leave off mentioning this one until after yesterday for the extra irony factor, for if there’s anyone who is likely to make Grant Rodiek wish he’d never, ever, revived that topic again, it’s the crazed Comrade from Toronto.

You know, she may have mentioned the subject once or twice

Yeah Grant, why not? You’ve already given everyone a crippled version of the Sims series, by standard EA harebrained logic making disabilities another post-release additional gimmick to the Glitterturd is surely worth a few press write ups, brownie points, and headline catching fake outrage from militant disabled groups who will never, ever be happy with anything you do because they see disabilities as a moral club to beat everyone else to death with thrice before cockcrow (the cult of victimhood rides again)?

If you really gave a shit about representation of those with disabilities in the game, they would have been there from day one, wouldn’t they? Not merely as another ‘what do we do to regenerate interest?’ stunt.

No surprise that Carl wagged his tail on cue for his Simguru masters and mistresses, but the repeat of the conversations had oft times before about disabilities, illnesses bodes ill (if you pardon the pun).

Of course, with SunnySimmer wanting to disable the illnesses and disabilities, there will be those wanting to force Simmies to have at least one (again, been there before) and morally chastising anyone not keen on the idea.

And of course those arsebuckets with an eye for the main chance demanding there be representation of ‘their’ group to ensure EA does it in a way which satisfies their sensitivities.

Not that anyone’s trying to set themselves up as Emperor of Disabled Simmers or anything like that, Becky Dann, plumbob forbid the suggestion!

 

Or for that matter ‘Leftist Autist’ Shaun Bickley (who really isn’t trying hard enough – you need to consider yourself to be also a black trans-lesbian hamster-wolf with AHDD and shingles to cut the mustard these days)

‘We disabled people use’?

You will also get the likes of Mary Hilton getting all militant about it more or less as an excuse to get militant about it.

‘Being disabled strips you of all rights, including the right not to be mocked by inclusion in a video game.’

Erm, so by your own bumnuggeted argument, the disabled have no right to ask for this not to be included in the Glitterturd by deign of being disabled meaning they are stripped of their rights?

Maybe you could have proofread your self-righteous indignation before posting it? Or better still, clarified it in your own head what you were so ‘offended’ about instead of – dare we suggest – acting offended and afterwards trying to think of a reason?

Although given your background we’d have expected little better:

You must be a real joy to be around at social gatherings.

 

Never mind, in the meantime…

They sure are V00d00haze, they sure are – but what else is new?

Some Background To Yesterday’s Post

Posted in Uncategorized on September 15, 2018 by themaresnest

The fiftieth episode of Raiders Of The Lost Island Consignment Shop, with fifty pictures – and plenty more unused.

This was a nightmare at times to get the screenshots done, but a lot of fun to write up. Ever since starting the ‘Llama Boxes spitting out famous characters’ plotline commenced down in Moonlight Falls, we wanted to have a moment where they ran into an atypical ‘fannish’ nerd with disastrous results at an already over-confusing time for them. It had to be MadameLee for that part, didn’t it?

There was one with Switch-Cloverstardropper dissing off Nancy Drew we’d planned, but we dropped that (for now…).

We’d love to say we were parodying the TV show ‘Once Upon A Time’ – except neither of us had heard of it until last year (it was apparently on one of the minor UK channels but was dropped due to very poor viewing figures). If the premise was anything to go by, that show was beyond all parody anyway.

After sticking the Demon Baby in the story, it was inevitable that MadameLee would have to make an appearance, but it would have been too easy to have her whisk Vera, her friends and the escapees away when there’s more fun to be had with it all going wrong, Crazy Anne not doing her job properly (as you may have guessed from the ‘Two Hours Later…’ note) and Stickykisses, TadOlson and Vera having to make other plans when the cavalry doesn’t turn up on time…

Can you spot the Figwit who knows the benefits of Bogong Moth Enzymes Technology ™?

For those wondering about those other characters who turned up with Newt Scamander, Fay Dunbar was the Gryffindor who stood behind Harry and Hermione in Order Of The Phoenix in the clearing during Hagrid’s ill-fated hippogriff lesson with Buckbeak. She looked uncannily like Figwit in the Lord Of The Rings movies – so naturally there’s a few mileage of gags to be had out of her later.

‘Is everybody happy? Well I for one absolutely am not!’

Modesty Barebone was of course in Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. Whether her wand really was ‘just a toy’ (pretty strange toy considering her situation …) is one thing, but was she the one who moved that belt across the landing after Credence whipped it out of his cruel step-mother’s hands (and out of his line of sight but still within hers – remember the pretext of Quirrell moving Harry’s broom)? Was she the witch hidden in plain sight everyone missed in the end? In the film she is meant to be eight years old: usually it is roundabout eleven years of age young witches and wizards show signs of magical ability, but some show it earlier.

Did seeing how Credence had turned out, twisted and warped, make Modesty more wily and streetwise in finding ways to control her magic once she realised what was happening to her (and hitting back against her adopted mother when she could – such as with the leaflets)? If so, time would eventually see her at Ilvermorny, now having to keep secret her time as a Second Salemer instead – out of the frying pan into the fire. Would be enough to make anyone grow up just a touch ‘detached’.

We decided to play along with the ‘what if?’!

Yep, we like incidental characters. Sue us.

We also decided to reunite the Carrow Twins from earlier with the rest of the Hogwartsians without immediate explanation. It would be inevitable with the latter choosing to take on the Daleks head on that at some stage the Carrows would spot them and, realising their error of judgement, join the others, along with adding Ginny Weasley

Ginny was originally going to be part of a joke where the Hogwarts lot ran into Jessamine Diane. In order to prove to the hostile group that she knew all about them and wasn’t hostile, Snape would ask her what was the point of a remembrall? After answering this, she would counter by asking what was the point of Ginny Weasley, to which all of them would be stumped for an answer (and leaving Ginny well pissed off!). We decided it was too cheap a joke when we could send in MadameLee to launch both barrels at the lot of them over the umpteen quibbles there’s been over the Potterverse for decades for a bit of comic relief, but we decided to keep old ginger squarejaw in.

Hawkflight1066 Stoops To Conquor When Exploring (But Oh Pary, How Could You!)

Posted in Uncategorized on September 13, 2018 by themaresnest

World Adventures appears to have been pretty popular of late.

You and many of the rest of us!

World Explorer Pary also has an axe to grind:

And we always thought you were a purist when it came to world exploring!

 

CravenLestat reckons that it requires a hidden skill the Simgurus forgot to tell everyone about …

He of course never had these problems as he’s already Zen as f**k!

The wonderfully named Squeemotastic and Springfairy556 were in agreement with CravenLestat on the need for Zen:

Bekkasan and Bettyboop55 however have decided it’s simpler to buy their needs at home or on the Simternet!

For Odonata68 and Sparky1922, cheating when on holiday is perfectly acceptable – if you are a tomb raider:

And for IreneSwift, there’s slim chance of doing so without them when some of the tombs are more designed for supermodels than explorers!