EA Wins A Shorty Award – A Joke Social Media ‘Award’ For A Joke Social Media Producer!

Over on the EA forum, there’s been self congratulation aplenty at the shock news that somehow EA won in the gaming category for The Sims 3, on the grounds of their outstanding use of social media to promote it.

With the Buccaneer’s Bounty set having been available since 2010, a lot of long time Simmers were distinctly underwhelmed by EA’s ‘generosity’)

Others like Pary wondered how the hell they’d won in the first place, considering the Sesert34 fiasco on their website and the fact bribery was strictly against the Shorty Awards own rules.

Whilst BluebellFlora was wondering how the plumbob they could have been declared the winners having been so comprehensively trounced by both Tom Syndicate and JJ Olatunji.

In fact, this was far from being the only award this happened with.

We at The Mare’s Nest have decided to have a little look at these supposed ‘prestigious social media awards’ to get to the truth behind them, and a rather interesting number of patterns began to emerge.

Justin Bieber won the Celebrity Award, despite finishing second to Kim Yae Yoong.

FDNY won the Lifesaving Award, despite finishing SIXTH with a mere 55 votes, ever so slightly behind Gidi Traffic on 614 votes and Sophia Bush on 480.

Social Fitness? Given to Christopher Brisley, even though he finished a clear second to Fitocracy.

Curtis Paradis won the You Tube star award, despite finishing SIXTH and miles behind Paulo Feliciano and Jamich, who each got over 4000 votes to his 800! He also finished behind a certain Justin Bieber. Mind you, considering what happened elsewhere, it’s a miracle they didn’t give that award to the Biebergirl as well.

The Activism award went to Occupy Wall Street, even they only finished FIFTH and even though the scumbags of Anonymous were the clear winners with over 7000 votes when OWS couldn’t even break the thousand. Even the vote splitting AnonOps (Anonymous’ mouthpiece, now you know where Fatbeard gets his ideas from about having multiple names for his various net activities) managed to get more votes than OWS did!

Nathan Fillion won the Actor award. Again he finished only in FIFTH place, miles behind Kevin Jonas and Ian Somerhalder, who each almost got three votes to his one (ironically Tom Felton, so often playing evil roles, got 666 votes!)

Instagram won the Apps award despite finishing FOURTH and only getting one vote to every four by the real victor Missing e.

Random Acts won the Charity award – they finished FOURTH, way behind first placed PSU Dance Marathon.

By this point, they really were having a laugh, as Jim Norton and Matt Walker finished a poor third and fourth to Alex Constancio and Smoosh, yet they jointly ‘won’ the Comedian award!

Best Fake Account went to the Fake ESPN even though it only got half the number of votes Tusk did!

Luke Reichle won the Fashion award, despite finish SIXTH with a mere 170 votes, miles behind Agnes Monica and Sarah Wright with over 1400 votes each!

Epic Meal Time was yet another ‘winner’ despite finishing in SIXTH place on 248 votes whilst first place Niall Horan had 2245!

In the Government award, it was a clear fight between Rafael Correa and the Queensland Police, yet it was FIFTH PLACED N.A.S.A. that ‘won’.

Ian Somerhalder got that Somersaulted feeling again in the Green award. He finished first, and they still declared third place Jerry James Stone the ‘winner’!

Christian Beadles and Ryan Higa were declared joint winners of the Humour section, despite finishing second and fourth to miles in front Louis Tomlinson, who had more votes than theirs put together!

Despite the laughable number of votes it attracted (not one nominee even got 100), Andy Carvin’s victory with only 21 votes and fourth place made an even bigger farce of proceedings when it came to the Journalism section. Sawhorse Media’s Muck Rack sure must be popular to generate that high a level of voting interest from the hacks!

Justin Bieber finished a very poor FOURTH behind Demetria Lovato and Miley Ray Cyrus, let alone Hendra, yet he ‘won’ this one as well.

Adam Bouska, yet again FOURTH place, only half the votes first placed Wyatt got, but he is declared the ‘winner’ in Photography.

The Science award went to SIXTH place Nature News & Comment, miles again behind first placed Virtual Astronomer.

Sports Team award? Liverpool Football Club, who finished SIXTH! Okay, that’s better than they’ll probably achieve in the English Premiership this year, but it hardly merits them getting a Social Media award for it!

TV Show? That well known programme to basement dwellers and bugger all else ‘Attack of the Show’, despite finishing third and getting half what worldwide hit ‘Pretty Little Liars’ did.

Videoblogger? FOURTH placed Fafa The Groundhogger.

…and finally Awkward Black Girl, who has been playing the race card like billy-ho over the outrage from Opie and Anthony Show and Zack Ryder fans that she won the WebShow category despite finishing in FIFTH place behind people that some of the American population – let alone anyone else – might have actually heard of.

So out of that selection there of thirty one awards before the ‘Industry’ ones, TWENTY THREE went to candidates that didn’t get the most votes – twice in the case of Justin Bieber. On six occasions, it went to the SIXTH PLACED candidate, on four occasions the FIFTH PLACED, and on eight occasions the FOURTH PLACED! Only on eight occasions did the real winner get the award.

So congratulations to EA Games for ‘winning’ an award where those running it ask people worldwide to vote before declaring who the hell they like as the winner anyway: a heady mixture of names popular in the zeitgeist (the Biebergirl, Occupy Wall Street, Adam Bouska), prestigious names with the American public (NASA, Nature magazine, the Fire Department Of New York – ‘9/11 And All That’, ya know…) and those with important ‘connections’ to potential clients of Sawhorse Media or future sponsors of the Shortys (such as Jerry James Stone of the Discovery Channel)…

…and ESPECIALLY those wannabe celebs with more money than sense hoping their crappy podcast or You Tube ‘show’ might get picked up by a real TV channel – ‘Congrats on winning a Shorty, yeah me and the guys at Sawhorse Media feel you sure deserved it even if you did finish sixth in the vote – hey, we’ve love to work with you sometime and help increase your Media Profile, for a reasonable fee – come in on Monday and we’ll talk about it, yeah?’.

Us cynical?

Not that we’re suggesting at all that the whole Shorty Awards are little more than a means by which Sawhorse Media gains what Malcolm McLaren once referred to as ‘credibility out of nothing’: getting the mug public worldwide to vote en masse (and thus give credibility) to awards that are then doled out in a targetted manner to butter up potential clients and the well connected, with a smattering of prestigious or en vogue names so they will make good copy with the mainstream media when they get the press releases.

But a joke Social Media award for a joke of a Social Media creator – we couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than EA!

Okay, to be fair, they did win one section legitimately.

The Bribery one!

P.S. If you want to read the postscript to this fiasco, go here. Yes, it gets even better!