***NEWSFLASH!*** Sims 4 Screenshots Confirm It’s A Heap Of SHIT!

Time for us to point and laugh!

Time to do a merry dance!

Time to say ‘WE TOLD YOU SO!’

Well done to Honeywell at Mod The Sims and everyone else that’s currently spreading the news like wildfire about the whale of fail that is EA’s supposed advancement in the Sims series for next year.

We warned it was going to be a rush job to grab a slice of the new consoles, and the screenshots that have now been leaked are downright damning in what a poor product these bumnuggets are expecting you to cough up full whack for!

Time to face the music alright, EA!

 

Does this mean that they will be getting musical instruments from the start? Yeah, that’s a real incentive to fork out all over again for a plastic pastel shade copycat of Sims 3.

Wow, that looks great… for 2001!

This would be an embarrassment if put on a Nintendo 3DS handheld, let alone a PC, Mac or modern games console!

Hey look! It’s the dining car recycled from Twinbrook with a Far Cry 2 non-paint job! How unoriginal.

New dynamic lighting that looks, erm, just like the old lighting. Whoopee.

Here’s a house! Guess what! It looks no better than the Sims 3!

Well worth shelling out £39 for next year, and we don’t think!

Make lots of bland pastel shade Simmies like it’s the Pixar studio trying to go serious! What fun!  Just when you thought you’d never need to download another replacement skin again…

Give your Simmies weird shiny eyes like they’re all on coke or born again Christians!

Give your guys hairdos that look like someone glued a leaf to their head and painted it brown! Textures? Detail? Nah, only pussies want attention to detail – it’s all about the new, dontyaknow?

‘Guys, guys, am I the only one that thinks we look as shitty as we did back in Sims 2 without any custom content to stop us all looking like Nicholas Cage? And what’s with the freaking green plumbob, they promised us it was going to be blue!’

Yep, green again!

Hey, but they’re doing exciting new activities, such as painting… oh, wait!

The Shiny Happy People out there can wriggle about it all they want, but are they now going to say with a straight face that Sims 4 looks anywhere near better than Sims 3. Go on, be honest with yourselves. You can achieve that Sims 4 ‘look’ with current custom content for Sims 3 – you only have to look at the various custom content producers appearing in Sims 3 Updates, etc. modelling their latest clothes and hair using Simmies they’ve modded the living daylights out of to see that! Or for that matter the better of the continuing Sims 2 cc producers.

The only people that will want the game looking like this (‘less cartoony and more realistic, maaaaan!’) are those for whom Sims 4 will not be a sandbox game to mess around with, but something to chug off to like they do on Second Life. If EA’s going down the road of dissing its core market of gamers to pander to basement dwellers wanting a sex aid on the premise ‘those suckers will buy it anyway’, they may get a big bloody shock to themselves.

Having the faces lit up like Sims 2 and turning up the Gamma Correction doesn’t take away from the fact they are blatantly going to be asking people to pay up for what appears to be the bastard child of Sims 2 and Sim 3, conceived after a takeaway pizza dinner from a shag on top of the office photocopier.

‘For the love of plumbob, are we still expected to eat waffles and pancakes for breakfast? What is this, the Brady Bunch in pastels?’

This is the shape of things to come? Well that shape looks like a wreckedtangle!