On the EA forum, someone new called Solarstorm was asking what was all the fuss about a certain Twitterer/YouTube Simmer called Lifesimmer aka Real Lifesimmer aka the Potato Queen (eh?).
To be honest, we’d never heard of her either.
There are that many airheads, arsebuckets, bumnuggets and general oxygen thieves on both when it comes to the Simming world that for the sake of our faith in humanity – let alone Simmetry – we try to avoid it where possible save for a very select few.
With their petty squabbles and smartphone orientated appeal to those with the fickle attention span of your average domestic cat, Twitter, Dumblr and YouTube have probably cost the Simming community more Simmers – both bad and good – than even EA have managed over the last five years
But we digress. Graciecam1303 provided the following explanation.
Somehow addictive to watch? You mean in a Phreakindee of Lazy Game Reviews sort of way where it wouldn’t matter if he was reading the telephone directory you’d still do it to hear his buttery toned dry wit.
Not according to the ever monosyllabic Cauliflowers:
The saddening part is that Cauliflowers has got more than a point, and a disturbing point at that.
But first, some identification.
Lifesimmer is one Cristina8139, who has been a member of both the old and new EA forum, Mod The Sims and elsewhere, and who a certain fat lying thief thinks is the bee’s knees as she does anyone who’s part-Greek. Not that she’s alone, albeit for entirely different reasons, as we shall explain.
On 4th April, after a series of photos of Lifesimmer began appearing on her various sites across the net – whereupon her popularity rocketed – the following video appeared. Vapid giggling girly as it was, it could equally have been interpreted as her upping the anté…
At the moment snapshotted above, Lifesimmer said of her decision to record facecam videos for You Tube:
‘I think, just doing facecam every Saturday is kinda like a treat.’
For who exactly? Isn’t your You Tube channel meant to be about games?
Phreakindee has done facecams where he’s blah-blahed about stuff and nonsense, and to be blunt they were freaking boring, like 99.99999% of all YouTube cam sermons are, no matter what the subject matter or who’s doing them.
Unless she’s acknowledging her appeal largely lies elsewhere and is now willing to play to the crowd.
Or as those watching the video in less sycophantic tones put it:
To be fair, that zipper appeared to be as high up as it could go, but it’s risible to suggest that Lifesimmer wouldn’t have realised her webcam at that angle would end up showing her cleavage?
Poppy Landen (not the Poppy of legend, that would have been an ironic twist too far!) and Sarah Carlyle weren’t the only ones.
Is MineSim really that wrong Evely Streett? Quite a few times it was pretty damn obvious she wasn’t looking down at the desk.
‘My boobs are down here you know?’ Thanks for all the reminders. No, really.
For anyone else wanting to keep kidding themselves on that she’s not consciously using her aesthetic appeal to draw in viewers, quite aside from her playing with her hair every twenty seconds like she was trying to hit on the captain of the football team – to say nothing of her bizarre remark at the end where right out of the blue she says she hopes you liked her pyjamas (?!) – there’s an interesting part round about the 2 minutes 40 seconds mark where she says she’s got a lot of followers on her Twitter…
… and at this time starts waving her hands at her boobs. It doesn’t take a psychologist to recognise someone’s gestures are unconscious displacement behaviour giving away what the back of her mind is thinking as to the answer why that may be.
At this point in proceedings she made the same dual hand gesture outwards three times that almost smacked of ‘here’s my boobs, look here’s my boobs, they haven’t run away or anything, OI YOU, THEY’RE DOWN HERE!’
‘What do you guys want to call our Saturdays?’
Hmmmm, Lifesimmer Facecam Allnight Party (or Lifesimmer FAP for short)?
Harsh? Perhaps. Having a partly disturbing clientele is something of a hazard to anyone pretty on the internet – male as much as female (as victims of the umpteen alias of Innuendo19 know only too well).
But there’s a difference between ignoring or telling it to sod off, and tacitly pandering to it, and a wander around her Twitter account makes it pretty clear she’s happily playing up to sexually frustrated geeks, sad wallflower girls wanting to be an kewl chick’s bestie, old creepy bastards, etc. as much as previous internet ‘queens’ such as Boxxxy and the fraudster Quxxn did: right down to the pop-philosophy much beloved by two-bit divas to show their ‘deeper’, caring side:
Which doesn’t exactly sit with her earlier pronouncement of her intention to expand her operations into being another one of those tossers telling everyone else what’s fashion and what’s not (it’s no coincidence that fashion and fascism have enjoyed such a cosy relationship over the last century – eg. Coco Chanel and Hugo Boss with the Nazis – as those trying to dictate to everyone else what is acceptable so often do).
Damn you Trinny and Susannah. Damn you Gok Wan. Damn your cartoon hotdog husbands, damn your designer sunglasses, your ‘this season’s musts’ and damn your private nursery ketchup brats.
Erm, we were saying?
Erm, the very fact that fashion attempts to dictate rules on what you can wear renders that statement as the sort of pathetic playing to the crowd that even our current politicos touting for votes would blush at.
Come back FuryRed and March Violet Cassie, all is forgiven!
But let’s take a look at these atypical gamer pictures which seem to have raised her stock of late.
Do you even need to guess what happened next?
‘YOU ARE SO FREAKING BEAUTYFUL! TEACH ME YOUR WAYS! EUMAGAWD I WUB U N EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!’
So much for Darwin’s theory.
Sad and pathetic as these specimens are, to those who say she isn’t actively trying to encourage lavish praise on her looks rather than her gaming interests, look no further than these little winks and nods:
Strangely enough, according to GuruGossiper who exposed much about Quxxn, the latter had a spat with this young pretender before her death:
Which begs the question she knew this was one real ‘queen’ with which she ultimately couldn’t compete with for popularity once she was old enough to start going to gaming conventions which she could do without her whole ‘skinny white hottie’ persona crashing around her.
Was this the moment that prompted her into rashly taking a course of crash action which led to an early grave? We’ll never know now.
But it does serve as a warning why this creeping dumbing down of the gaming world where one’s worth to the community is determined by other Simmers more by their physical attributes than what you bring to that world is not welcome.
Give us an Rflong7/13, a Twallan, a Vidkid, a Cloverstardropper or a FriendlyOne20. Give us a Sharkloverplayer, a World Adventurer, a still moaning Granny Eater – heck, even a Bookygirl with a whole army of transsexual toilets marching Manic Miner style – to a thousand Lifesimmer dolly girlies anyday.