2013 – A Year In Quotes

Here’s some of those quotes that encapsulated a year in Simming, or at least the quoteable parts of it at any rate. A new year, so let’s see what quips leave your lips.

Last updated 24th December 2013

Enjoy!

Capturing The Moment

AMariseS (EA Forum) : ‘How about the clothes line?’ [to xShannonHoran asking what to do when her house was piled with washed clothes and she couldn’t afford a dryer]

Angldior (EA Forum) : ‘Why are you people believing this bullshit? She has an excuse for everything so why bother trying to give her advice? [on MadameLee’s Midsummer Trainwreck thread]

Angldior (EA Forum) : ‘So you can troll on the forums all day long but you are not allowed to make your own bed? You are so full of shit.’ [to MadameLee]

Angldior (EA Forum) : ‘I could care less about the make up they put on the kids but when they make them look like tiny little hookers I have a problem with that.’ [on the number of ‘Prostitots’ – inappropriately modded and attired toddlers and children – on the EA Exchange]

Angldior (EA Forum) : ‘If it wasn’t for Twallan my Sims game would have been out of the window a long time ago.’ [yes, another year, several million likewise posts from the masses!]

Ashads (EA Forum) : ‘ I didn’t think this thread could have gotten any more entertaining… it even has plot twists!’ [on the Broome1 begging and bitching thread]

Beaglelover2008 (EA Forum) : ‘So you are going to contribute to a bullying Tumblr… or are you bolstering relevence because you/your cronies made this and are bored?’ [calling KawaiiDulce out over his ‘discovery’ of Sims Burn Book – which later proved to be his and his alone]

Beaglelover2008 (EA Forum) : ‘Oh I don’t doubt that you have problems…’ [to MadameLee protesting about people claiming she’s making her disabilities up as excuses for her behaviour and malingering]

Berrypie (Berry Sweet Shoppe) : ‘I’m a meme now it seems.’ [regarding her devoting to Ridiculously Photogenic Guy Zeddie Little]

BluebellFlora (BluebellFlora’s Blog) : ‘I’m sure EA just make half of these glitches up in their patch notes in a bid to try and detract from the real bugs which they are incapable of fixing.’ [on the Patch 1.47 fiasco]

BluebellFlora (BluebellFlora’s Blog) : ‘The bonus of being a Mac gamer – we get to see the Simcity cock up without having lost any money on it.’ [on the SimCity 2013 fiasco]

BluebellFlora (BluebellFlora’s Blog) : ‘Must go, heists to complete, cars to jack and people to shoot.’ [on Grand Theft Auto V, which did much the same damage to the Simming community Skyrim did the previous year]

Branwen333 (EA Forum) : ‘Who did you think you were speaking with on a public community forum?’ [on the absurdity of telling someone to mind their own business after addressing the forum in general].

BShag4lv (EA Forum) : ‘I’d have my co-habiting Sims jump into the shower together before heading out the door for work – get’s ’em clean and in a good mood at the same time.’

Bobert26 (Sims Forums) : ‘Hold onto your panties ladies, Richard’s coming.’ [on Richard III’s reappearence]

Bookygirl (Booky Loves Shiny Things) : ‘Oh my god it’s so good I need to stop though it is totally taking over my life.’ [on the release of the Nintendo 3DS and Animal Crossing – New Leaf]

Brookesaywhatx (EA Forum) : ‘What are you being so rude for? You asked for people’s opinions, they give them and you freak out on them…Please stop using a disability as an excuse for everything.’ [to MadameLee]

Brookesaywhatx (EA Forum) : ‘For someone who is so uptight about the rules, it’s a little strange that you would bash the moderators for this.’ [to MadameLee moaning about having her threads moved to the correct part of the forum during her serial posting of spam threads in General Discussion]

Brookesaywhatx (EA Forum) : ‘You can’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself… You can’t expect everyone else to feel bad for you when you don’t even try.’ [to MadameLee]

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘By the time they get to Mars, they might be little more use than four buckets of jelly.’ [on the plans to set up a reality TV show based on Mars]

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘Thanks for the half-naked story telling with Jack, most enjoyable.’ [on Fraroc’s Fury story, where the characters tend to have the same regular wardrobe malfunctions as Haiden’s Simselves]

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘I am laughing at EA’s plea to be loved.’ [after they boohooed to the BBC over retaining their Golden Poo in a year of bumnuggetry par excellence.]

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘Sims is coming apart at the stiches, Towns overrun with zombies and witches. Twallan is my true hero, EA gurus score zero, for only NRaas can solve bugs and glitches.’

Cassandra-Nichol (Playdom Disney City Girl Forum) : [to Jarsie9/Momthing1] ‘U sound like a bitter woman with a very dim view of men.’

Ceejay402 (EA Forum) : ‘I’m so digging the new coop!’ [on the release of the chicken coop in April]

ChemicalWibs (EA Forum) : ‘Oh for crying out loud – people have given you good and helpful advice here, but instead you have thrown yourself a pity party and started (yet another) disabilities discussion. Good job derailing your own thread.’ [to MadameLee during her Midsummer Trainwreck thread]

Cinebar (EA Forum) : ‘I said months and months ago why was EA trying to create cliques and no one thought they had, but now look – a house divided won’t stand. [on EA calling their SimCamp attendees at GamesCon in Cologne their ‘YibSims’ and claiming they represent ‘the Top 40 Sims players’]

CK213 (EA Forum) : ‘Buying stuff has ended, making most of all that stuff is just getting started.’ [on the end of Sims 3 EPs and SPs]

Cloudwalker (The Sims Daily) : ‘Why do they always have to have ‘rare and exotic’ crap, meaning ‘totally unreal and weird’ all the time?’ [on EA Store content]

Clubers (EA Forum) : ‘My greatest accomplishment ever: I got Bonehilda preggers! With the GRIM REAPER!’ [and no, mods were not involved!]

Crinrict (Mod The Sims) : ‘I’m honestly a bit unsure what is expected of us, Some things are very clear, some things are very unclear.’ [at the SimCamp as one of the YibSims]

Crinrict (Mod The Sims) : ‘If you don’t like the graphics you see now, you probably won’t like the game.’ [reporting from SimCamp on Sims 4]

DangerDanger (EA Forum) : ‘Do you offer sub-prime financing?’ [on Linklover101’s failed offer to make lots in return for Simpoints)

Darkling (EA Forum) : ‘Twallan has gone above and beyond what anyone can ask of a modder.’

Darkling (EA Forum) : ‘When I look back at the earlier hair and clothes offered in the Store and the things they are making now it is like a world of difference. The quality has improved 1000%’

Diagnull (EA Forum) : ‘I created a Sim and had her join the Medicine career. After working her way up to Surgeon, on a whim, I decided to have her learn magic and become a Witch.  So… She’s a Witch Doctor.’ [‘the throwing of ten billion tonnes of rotten fruit, at Diagnull, has been approved…’ ]

Dorendia122 (EA Forum) : ‘My goodness, this girl can tell stories!’ [on MadameLee’s Midsummer Trainwreck thread]

Dothesmustle (EA Forum) : ‘The reason it’s not against EA rules is that they don’t care who you are spending your money on as long as you spend it with EA.’ [on EA Store ‘begging’ posts/threads]

FlamingoKicker1 (EA Forum) : ‘Do they expect me to go take out a loan at the bank. Or just sell my organs?’ [on Sims 3 Expansion Pack prices]

FlamingoKicker1 (EA Forum) : ‘I appreciate that my Sims are hot and smart and all that and all their neighbours lust after them…’ [and their creator is modest to a fault]

Friendlyone20 (EA Forum) : ‘I have both AHDD and Aspergers, but I’m not going to use that as an excuse if things don’t go the way I want in life.’ [to MadameLee during her midsummer trainwreck]

Friendlyone20 (EA Forum) : ‘Enough of this woe is me attitude because it’s starting to get old real fast.’ [to MadameLee during her midsummer trainwreck]

Friendlyone20 (EA Forum) : ‘I’m about as sick of those threads as I am of threads like this one trying to tell people what to do.’ [on Kirby356 wanting threads about more content for Sims 3 banned]

FriendlyOne20 (EA Forum) : ‘What in the fried fiddled Gumdrops is this contraption? Where in the jelly and butter toasted hell did this come from?’

GalateaCoolCat (Simendipity) : ‘Everyday in every way, EA makes me love Skyrim better and better.’ [on the SimCity 2013 debacle]

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (KawaiiDulce’s Blog) : ‘I am a liar, troll and utter waste of space I deceived everyone and hurt far too many people… I can never be trusted again.’ [just about the only thing he ever did get right before burning his boats with everyone permanently]

Ghost (Custom Sims 3) : ‘Now you get to find out if the curfew police arrest underage ghosts.’ [on the local school being hit by a meteorite wiping out its entire child population]

GLuigiX (EA Forum) : ‘Wow! You are really standing kneedeep in ****.’ [to Readreadreadread on the Ashcroft31 vs Taylacfc paedophile accusations fiasco]

Haiden (EA Forum) : ‘R has not been here for a while… the last time, the horses kicked him.’ [on Proverb87’s permasulk over picking the wrong moment to pick a quarrel with ourselves]

Halle_M (EA Forum) : [to Broome1] ‘You come here asking people to gift you ten dollars worth of items, and you tell ME to get a life?’

Halle_M (EA Forum) : [on Phreakindee of Lazy Game Reviews] ‘I trust LGR to present an unvarnished view… he’s not fooled by a lot of fancy euphamisms spouted by EA that end up having no substance once you play the game.’

HamsterHugger (EA Forum) : ‘If the outfit looks sexy on an adult, it’s not right to put it on a child.’ [on the outbreak of dubiously attired toddlers and children being uploaded to the Exchange]

HappySimmer3/Tangie0906 (EA Forum) : ‘Aha! So the sock puppet gets to be nasty and malicious to people… all the while accusing those naysayers of being the ones who are nasty and malicious?’ [on Kirby356 being caught out using his sock-puppet EA account BasedGoodness to troll whilst moralising on others trolling]

HappySimmer3/Tangie0906 (Mod The Sims) : ‘I always laugh my ass off when someone on the official forum posts about “this wonderful new info on SimsVIP” – which was taken from blog posts right there on the official forum!’ [on Alexurt and having the loyalist friends that money can buy..]

HRHLadyNay (EA Forum) : ‘I didn’t know the cow plants could die.’

IngeJones (Mod The Sims) : ‘Most of the horror stories are stories instantiated by people with the paysite political agenda’ [on the ‘it’s a trap!’ reactions to TSR becoming free]

IngeJones (EA Forum) : ‘The Sims is meant to be a game, not a political ideology.’ [on those refusing to download from the post-paysite TSR for ‘ideological’ reasons over past wrongs]

Jennygg (EA Forum) : [to MadameLee] ‘ You’re a grown woman, act like one!’ [during the Midsummer Trainwreck thread]

Jennygg (EA Forum) : [to MadameLee] ‘It kind of sounds like you need to be in the nursery!’ [during the Midsummer Trainwreck thread]

Jericho13 (EA Forum) : ‘My evil wizard Sim autonomously killed his own mother. I’m afraid now.’

JKTee511/x_MG_x (SimHaus Of Mummygaga) : ‘I have decided to change the text of this blog to make it more readable.’ [the first line anyone’s been able to read at the blog in over two years due to the prior red text on grey background combination]

JustKeepSimming (EA Forum) : ‘There are many frequent posters who only ever post on “drama” threads and don’t contribute to the community in any other way. It’s sad really. It’s like they have nothing better to do.’ [EA Forum in a nutshell]

KoumoriDiru (EA Forum) : ‘You really have no clue what you’re talking about. You’re just here for an argument and to make yourself look like the good guy, when really you’re coming across as a complete tool.’ [to Innuendo19, an applicable to just about every thread he ever got involved in with his various alias in 2013]

LiliasSeras (EA Forum) : ‘Every time I get on the Exchange, I find such pretty Sims, unfortunately (from some bad experiences…) I’m always scared of downloading any of them!’

Litabelaqua (EA Forum) : ‘Not only are they still selling them, the stickers and badges have been on the Daily Deal a couple of times in the past couple of weeks!!! What’s wrong with these people?’ [on the EA Store continuing to sell unusable items]

Litabelaqua (EA Forum) : ‘Some of the responses are just as cringingly painful as the original begging request?’ [on Simmers begging for EA Store items]

LittleMinxUndr (EA Forum) : ‘Reality TV doesn’t get better than this. Pop-corn I tell you. Buckets of popcorn! [on the Ashcroft31 vs Taylacfc fiasco]

Lupusrex180 (EA Forum) : ‘Starting next fiscal year, we will be able to trade our organs for EPs and Simpoints directly. Cut out the middleman while they cut out your kidney.’ [Don’t encourage them, dammit!]

Lovelylisac (EA Forum) : ‘Sims 3 has taught me the importance of always having a shower next to the inventing table.’

MadameLee (EA Forum) : ‘Why is it that people are pretending I don’t exist when I need help?’ [24 hours before saying to TerseRat5204 ‘ Go away Tessa, you were nothing but rude to me when I was having problems.’ after they’d spent the best part of their day trying to help her]

Mikezumi (EA Forum) : ‘Most people don’t give a fig about other people’s games until they feel a connection to the other posters… this connection needs to be nurtured – it doesn’t just happen.’

Mcrashlee (EA Forum) : ‘This is just pathetic. Instead of encouraging maturity and friendliness, especially on this forum where shit hits the fan on a regular basis, they are glorifying negativity.’ [on Sims Burn Book]

Minty (Sims Forums) : ‘Richard III: this year’s new Stud Muffin – he’s not only Royal, but he’s Retro!’ [on Richard III’s reappearence]

MissBrite (EA Forum) : ‘How many people made a farm yesterday?’ [upon the release of the chicken coop in April]

Miss Tickle (Sim’thing Miss Tickle) : ‘The announcement was a little too heavy on the “we love our loyal fans.” I can’t help wondering why, if they love us so much, they didn’t bother to fix up Sims 3 when they had the chance.’ [on the Sims 4 announcement]

Mmoblitz (Custom Sims 3) : ‘At about 1pm today a large meteor struck Drake School of Life And Learning while classes were in session, killing 18 children and 2 teachers… every school age Sim in town died.’ [That’s some introduction to playing with the new Dragon Valley town for the first time!]

Moommarkovits (EA Forum) : ‘I made two Sims, had them fall in love… Next stop the wedding, I built a church… blooming metorite lands smack bam on my church hall killing Alfie Moon, Simon Cowell ,Dame Judy Dench and my bride and groom ! All that effort for nothing – I love The Sims… I have cancelled the wedding and have sent them to Uni instead.’

Murfeel (EA Forum) : ‘EA needs to be refunding Simmers for those obsolete stickers… It’s a scam. A ripoff.’ [on selling My Page stickers even though they can no longer be used]

Nik24x7 (EA Forum) : ‘I’d have quit the Sims 3 franchise years ago if it weren’t for Twallan’s mods.’

Ollie (Sims Forums) : ‘Well we do love to get the old shrimp out and stick it in the barbie.’ [on the Australian couple caught having roadside ‘woo-hoo’ on their car by Google Earth]

Ollie (Sims Forums) : ‘Regarding the horse child, something seems foal about that story.’ [on the ‘Edo church horse birth’ story in the media]

OracleSydelle (EA Forum) : ‘A little surprised Plumbots don’t come with built in Level 10 logic. [on Into The Future]

Pary (EA Forum) : ‘It’s a testament to the foolishness and stupidity infecting this section of the board that someone actually has to put a disclaimer on their post.’ [on the pro-grief element’s activites in the EA forum]

Phreakindee (Lazy Game Reviews) : ‘I’d rather spend my own dollars on the stuff and speak my mind without any kind of restrictions placed on me by legal contracts. Keeps my integrity and brutal honesty/critiquing intact!’ [on being frozen out of EA’s ‘Sim VIP’ clique of ‘besties’]

PSFinishLine (EA Forum) : ‘I just find it so weird that we have like no info on The Sims 4 whilst TS3 was hyped well in advance.’ [posted in January, but sort of summed up what was to come – or rather not to come]

Rflong7/13 (EA Forum) : ‘Got to remember – it’s not our site, we’re only visitors here too.’

Roff (EA Forum) : ‘We want Sims with toes! We want real feet!’

ScenieRockz44 (EA Forum) : ‘During nighttime I cannot actually see anything. It’s just pitch black.’ [On Lucky Palms, not Midnight Hollow!]

Sharkloverplayer (EA Forum) : ‘I used to have an Atari and I loved Pong.’ [told you he was Black Francis/Frank Black, didn’t we?]

Sharkloverplayer (EA Forum) : ‘I’m worried ’cause I haven’t seen a hot tub yet.’ [on Sims 4]

Simbabe (The Sims Daily) : ‘My downloads folder is curled up in the fetal position, crying right now.’ [on TSR becoming a free to download site]

Simbolic (EA Forum) : ‘Because of this thread, Halle_M no longer has a wishlist.’ [the response of General Discussion to Halle_M keeping her cool amid Broome1’s uncalled for rudeness towards her]

Sims 3 Live Broadcast For Into The Future (You Tube) : ‘Play With Bugs.’ [Nailed it!]

Sims 3 Official Magazine (EA Forum) : ‘There’s no better way to celebrate the arrival of Fail than with the latest issue of the Sims Official Magazine.’ [for once one of their typos got it right!]

SimsTias (EA Forum) : ‘It’s actually uglier than Sims 2.‘ [on the Sims 4 leaked screenshots]

Snurfles (EA Forum) : ‘ Your Sim is about to propose and that’s when the guy’s wife shows up and starts a fight!’ [Men! Tsch!]

Spacerox (The Sims Daily) : ‘If they are going to solicite our opinions, they should at least be barraging us with stale cookies and cold pizza, hard plastic chairs and creepy 1-way glass windows.’ [on EA’s selective search for Sims 4 feedback without showing anything concrete to the masses of what they’ve done]

Spookyscones (Teatime For Sims) : ‘Dear EA Sim Store Pricing Team, having an idea is not the same as having a good idea.’

SteveTSR (EA Forum) : ‘We are no longer a ‘pay-site’, all the content including that from our paid artists are now free.’ [debatably the biggest news story in the Simming community of the year]

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : [on forum bumnuggets] ‘They are like wolves in a roomful of bunnies. The ONLY thing that works on them is stompy boots.’

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : ‘Know whom you are gifting!’ [would have covered a myriad of EA forum battles this year…]

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : ‘Apparantly Icy_Lava and Corey785 are the arbitrators of how they assume people are supposed to express themselves.'[on their wrecking of Legendsimmer’s thread for the fun of it]

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : ‘The hair, makeup and objects seem to be fine (and in fact are awesome) — as long as I stick to the paid artists only.’ [on The Sims Resource]

StillJustMe2 (EA Forum) : [on Liam O’Dourke] ‘I have a certain fondness for the little nerd.’

SugarMagic (EA Forum) : ‘The reason for the bugginess is negligence, not because the Sims 3 engine is so complicated or so archaic.’

SunsetSorbet (EA Forum) : ‘You know, it’s really funny how you both put spaces before a period, and both use a grave accent instead of an apostraphe.’ [unmasking Evilsims420 as being the sock puppet account of HighTimes809]

SupernaturalStar (EA Forum) : ‘I think  it might have been interesting to receive a roast after winning a fight against the evil chicken.’ [Shhhh! Don’t get JKTee511 hear you saying that!]

Surreal (EA Forum) : ‘As far as creating customer service jobs, yes it did – if you work in India.’ [on video games companies switching to digital downloads only]

Taranatar9 (EA Forum) : ‘Troll or very, very stupid?’ [on Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce – he proved in the end to be both

Tigertots (EA Forum) : ‘Wow! What a thread.’ [on the Broome1 begging bloodbath]

Tontrin (Custom Sims 3) : ‘It definitely makes for an interesting story for your town.’ [on the local school being hit by a meteorite wiping out its entire child population]

Trish1966 (EA Forum) : ‘Digital and electronic technology does not always best serve the customer.’

Trish1966 (EA Forum) : ‘He has a real job and a real life, but he does all that so that we can play with fake lives.’ [on Twallan and his mods]

Trish 1966 (EA Forum) : ‘She says after she graduates high school that she is going to retire.’ [Trish’s daughter having no faith in the economy either!]

Trish 1966 (EA Forum) : ‘There is no law stating you have to read their posts if it grates on your nerves that much.’ [on Kirby356 wanting people banned from starting new threads on topics he doesn’t like]

Turistas9 (EA Forum) : ‘If it comes with those graphics, I’m not paying more than 5 bucks for it’ [on Sims 4]

Turistas9 (EA Forum) : ‘No NRaas for Sims 4? Won’t be going that road!’

Twallan (NRaas Industries) : ‘I have put a lot of work into this suite, and have no intention to simply drop it for the next best thing.’ [making the deal breaker for many in confirming he will not mod for Sims 4]

Vcosley (EA Forum) : ‘The dog walks backwards, the cow jerks from the barn to the yard and back.’ [upon installing the Movies stuff pack and patch – the cause of a lot of heartache]

Vidkid20 (Vidkid20’s Sim Lair) : ‘Are you ready to start all over again with brand new glitches and long waits for EPs you want? [on Sims 4]

Vidkid20 (Vidkid20’s Sim Lair) : ‘Every game in this market is shooting for realism and crisp graphics. TS4 for the look of it has neither!’ [on Sims 4]

Vlaxitov (EA Forum) : ‘New avatar, same old troll.’ [on Skyscraperfan wearing out his welcome with everyone over the first third of the year and being ignored when he attempted to return as a result]

Webbymom (The Sims Daily) : Oh. My. Gosh. Someone check my pulse…’ [on EA releasing a ballet practice bar!]

Windweaver (EA Forum) : ‘I am finding it so vague and ambiguous that it’s like they said nothing at all.’ [on EA’s claims that Sims 4 will be taking the Sims series ‘back to their roots’ without elaboration]

Windweaver (EA Forum) : ‘Oh my bloody god, I just don’t know what to say… it does look like a Facebook game, not a PC game.’ [on Sims 4 ]

Wissawolf (EA Forum) : ‘Look at my wishlist for some ideas on what to get.’ [in response to someone asking what to do with a spare 1000 Simpoints]

Writin_Reg (EA Forum) : ‘ I am not one to laugh in the sight of someone losing a job – but if anyone deserved to lose one, it was in my eyes anyway John Riccitiello.’ [on EA’s CEO ‘stepping down’ after the SimCity fiasco]

Yumedust (EA Forum) : ‘EA can’t even fix their other games first before making new ones. Without Twallan, I’m going to be very wary of it and I’m certainly not going to rely on Pescado.’ [on Sims 4]

Zieniet (EA Forum) : ‘You better hide in the closet, because they’re ready to drag you out!’ [on being asked if his Underdogs biker gang were gay!]

Zorba2357 (EA Forum) : ‘Why do I feel a Mare’s Nest article coming on?’ [on the great ‘Simmies need toes’ debate]

Catchphrases

Allesmere (The Sims Daily) : ‘Queen of the Derp.’

Bklienhart (EA Forum) : ‘It’s about flingin’ flangin’ time!’

Bookygirl (Booky Loves Shiny Things) : ‘Basically, shit was fucked up.’

BShag4lv (EA Forum) : ‘Pooey.’

Certain (Black Pearl Sims) : ‘Holy Swiss and cheddar cheese Batman!’

DangerDanger (EA Forum) : ‘Holy Carp!’

Hideaki (EA Forum) : ‘CHICKENS!!’

Isenstrider (EA Forum) : ‘Backs slowly out of thread.’

JamieLeighFox (EA Forum) : Fox that shit.’

Kael (EA Forum) : ‘Oh what a tangled web we weave…’

Lovelylisac (EA Forum) : ‘Zombies ruined my date.’

TadOlson (EA Forum) : ‘TadOlson passing through.’

Taffster74 (EA Forum) : ‘Who gives a rat’s fuzzy behind?’

10Eliblue (EA Forum) : ‘Neighther did I.’

Various (EA Forum) : ‘The site is down for maintenance. Please try again later.’

Fail!

Aarin (6s & 7s) : ‘I have a date with a sockpuppet account so I can ruin some 13 year old girl’s “internet presence”.’ [‘leopards and spots’ time…]

Aarin (6s & 7s) : ‘Coco spent the entire day in hiding after being assaulted this morning. Not sure if coincidence (touring the town on first day after move in) or direct result of my harassment.’ [Part of Aarin’s two month long campaign of intimidation against an Animal Crossing – New Leaf villager. Yep, not a sign of being a fucking psycho fruitloop in the slightest…]

Adrian (Origin Customer Services) : [to CalebPeter asking for a refund for Sim City] ‘I must inform you that if you choose to dispute it your account will be banned. [Cue resultant internet meltdown]

Azxcvbnm321 (EA Forum) : ‘Pescado has earned the right to insult those who he thinks ask stupid questions.’

Batman82497 (EA Forum) : ‘Does a higher gambling skill make me a better gambler in Sims 3.’

Cali3234 (EA Forum) : ‘I am horse jockey [sic!] and have over 20 000 online fans and I am on television in front of millions of people every day so I have way better things to do than argue with people.’ [another of the Sims community’s Walter Mitty moments]

Camimh (EA Forum) : ‘Wonders if TMN ever lurks Tumblr.’ [wonders if the ex-SiManiacs owner had ever noticed Aarin’s 6s & 7s Dumblr posts we’d linked to for the last three years…]

Clubers (EA Forum) : ‘Do you think fish can be caught in the water?’ [regarding Island Paradise, despite fishing being in since the base game]

Colton147 (EA Forum) : ‘The US Government cannot hack or phish anything, since it will violate the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.’ [shortly before the US Government was caught hacking into the files of just about every one of their supposed allies!]

Corey785 (EA Forum) : ‘I am known to have put many trolls in their place on the forums.’ [in reality he’d received that many arse-rapings from the regular griefers and flame warriors it was a miracle he could sit down]

Crinrict (EA Forum) : ‘Lazy Game Reviews might be critical and all and has a large fan base but he’s not a Simmer.’ [short after denying thrice before cockcrow that SimCamp has created a cliquey ‘better than you’ mentality amongst the attendees]

Crinrict (EA Forum) : ‘Not enough fan-base to be invited’. [on Lazy Games Reviews not being invited to SimCamp – despite having eight million views of his Sims 3 videos!]

Crizzle (EA Forum) : ‘‘I think LGBT characters do need to exist even in worlds that belong to the player because we do exist.’ [advocating forcing players to have gay Simmies in their games to teach younger players tolerance]

Darintexas (EA Forum) : ‘In the Sims 3 Pets, my horse won’t use the stairs.’

Delphy (Mod The Sims) : ‘And it’s back. Let’s see how the load holds now.’ [taken from the Twitter feed seven hours after the site still had nothing up but ‘MTS is currently offline while we perform maintenance on the site’ !]

Diddy12 (EA Forum) : ‘The Sims 3 is rubbish, constant problems and is the biggest waste of money ever!!!!!!!!’ [… she decides – the base game, eight expansions and a stuff pack later!]

Erich_Raeder (EA Forum) : ‘Good riddance you are a bad mum… I am calling you out as a hypocrite and a FIBBER, did someone in the forum tell that your behavior is obnoxious and ugly and hateful’ [Feeble One’s Mini Me clacking any sense of irony – and this was in response to AmaraRena calling her ‘a drama queen’!]

Evil_One (EA Forum) : ‘And don’t worry about certain people thinking that a petition is invalid if you modified the number or definition of sliders in the main posts’ [It does, you bumnugget!].

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) : ‘I’ve leaving the Sims today because, yes we’re having babies.’ [Two days later he denied posting it]

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) : ‘If a troll gets sucker punched in the forest and no-one is around to hear it, does it happen?’ [it does when we post the thread screenshots you thought EA had scrubbed in time!]

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (KawaiiDulce’s Blog) : ‘Honestly, I’m done. With everything. And I mean everything. Goodbye everyone. Don’t think I’ll be back, okay? I won’t be.’

Hightimes809 (EA Forum) : ‘There are some mean people here who don’t care about people. It will bite them in the butt someday.’ [True, but only as far as himself was concerned!]

Horrorfan1980s (EA Forum) : ‘Your threads are fun and creative. You obviously spend a lot of time on your uploads and you definitely haven’t posted excessively.’ [regarding MadameLee posting and repeat bumping nine threads in sixteen days of her Simmies, four of which had the exact same catalogue of screenshots in them, five of which were of the same Simmie]

Innuendo19/BadnessDefined/Cali_Pier92, etc (EA Forum) : ‘MadameLee has severe physical disabilities.’ [the day after MadameLee admitted to delivering Sears catalogues door to door since she was eleven]

Jarsie9 (EA Forum) : ‘I’m still miffed that we have to buy Aurora Skies Gold just to get the walker and playpen… This is obviously an attempt to force their customers to spend more money.’ [a week after she’d shown she’d no interest in buying it legitimately by requesting it over at the pirate site Games4TheWorld!]

Jarsie9 (Playdom Disney City Girl Forum) : ‘I cut my teeth on the Sims 3 forum. I’ve been known to scare grown men away with my razor sharp keyboarding skills and my awesome intellect.’ [This is a 60 plus year old woman trying to intimidate a forum of mostly 13 year old girls]

Jarsie9/Momthing (Playdom Disney City Girl Forum) :‘[to Little-Amy98] And oh, by the way I guarantee you I can make you cry without once violating the terms of service.’ [60 plus year old woman threatening to reduce a 15 year old girl to tears. Wow!]

Knh330 (Knh300’s Dumblr) : ‘So what if the child is caked in make up, wearing crop tops and mini-skirts and has the waistline of a broomstick?’ [if you need to have it explained, plumbob help you!]

Lacombe305S (EA Forum) : ‘Since when does graphics matter?’ [trying to talk up Sims 4]

LaGolfa (Games4TheWorld) : ‘I hope they wiped all the previous premium content and let the creators decide however they want to re-release their work for free or not.’ [regarding TSR becoming free… posted on a site that – wait for it – pirates Sims 3 content!]

Lost-In-Misery (EA Forum) : ‘If you can’t be mean on the Internet, where else can you be?’ [how about not at all ?]

Madame Lee (EA Forum) : ‘I hate to have to correct you but…’ [meaning in truth she is frigging herself red raw over it]

Madame Lee (EA Forum) : ‘I can brush my hair. But I don’t see the point in doing so. Since my hair will just end up messy again.’ [Is this the long lost love child of Bob Geldof?]

Magicman34 (EA Forum) : ‘You never ask for anything FREE to be stopped, if you do it could be stopped completely, forever. We don’t get much in this world/life for free so anything that is should be taken gratefully.’ [Would Sir care for a dose of rabies on the house?]

Magicman34 (EA Forum) : ‘How about the Store team create a Wizard Of Oz set and giving some if not all of the proceeds to the disaster fund?’ [regarding May’s Oklahoma Tornado devestation?]

MinDtriKz (EA Forum) : ‘EA wouldn’t even ban Sesert, forum members had to.’ [the same MinDtriKz that had e-mailed Sesert34 at his blog offering him help with his trolling during 2012, as xXAngelicEvilXx and BluebellFlora discovered]

Minty (Sims Forums) : ‘I’M MAKING POLENTA SO STOP FUCKING NAGGING ME ABOUT IT MARES!’ [One year later after promising Caspin he’d try it – pity he made an complete arse of it and Caspin had to help him to make a 10 minute cooking job properly!]

Nova Strike (Paysites Must Be Destroyed) : ‘Something about this really stinks. This seems too convenient… how do we know it isn’t a trap?’ [on The Sims Resource abandoning being a pay site in favour of funding by adverts – same as hundreds of other sites Pescado’s buttmonkey’s deem ‘trustworthy’]

Proverb87/RobSims (RobSims) : ‘How ballsy of you to tell me anonymously! CHICKEN SHIT!’ [Rob The Sob demonstrating just why fellow Simblrs post anonymously to him whenever they disagree with him]

RalphaelNinja (EA Forum) : ‘I really hate to point fingers, but NRaas is not the god mod that I thought, use disgression.’ [one mass forum roast later, he admitted he’d since discovered it was a Mod The Sims mod that had buggered his game]

Rflong7/13 (EA Forum) : ‘I don’t really understand all the fear about the Exchange.’ [Dude, seriously…]

Rflong7/13 (EA Forum) : ‘Critical, but not honest?…does he play it much, or just review?’ [dismissing Phreakindee’s Lazy Game Reviews of Sims 3 content, right after going to SimCamp. Spot who just sold out.]

Sims 3 Live Broadcast For Movies (You Tube) : ‘Play With Heroes And Villians.’ [SIC!]

Sims 3 Store (EA Forum) : ‘MR.launcher.banner.text. BUY NOW!’

Snooty (EA Forum) : ‘You’re still not banned? I got banned once for a year for calling someone a troll. Guess the moderators are on vacation or something.’ [from the owner of Snooty Sims, a forum that lost all its members because he allowed his moderators and their ‘besties’ to troll everyone else!]

TanyaRubirose (EA Forum) : ‘Changing tables would be decoration only; having one actually functional is not possible due to the way the game engine reacts to change.’ [hours before the EA Store’s Dirty No More Changing And Bathing Station was released providing exactly that!]

TanyaRubirose (EA Forum) : ‘I used to be paid to post here, specifically as part of a (very bad) conspiracy to target and disrupt one blog. The goals of that conspiracy have been accomplished anyway, but not in the way originally planned, and my contract with them has expired.’ [another Walter Mitty moment from the Incredible Bullshitting Man]

TanyaRubirose (EA Forum) : ‘If you keep annoying me, I won’t stop at just reporting you to EA, the FBI is my next step.’ [the padded room more like it!]

TanyaRubirose (EA Forum) : ‘You know, if you’re going to be stupid enough to hack a website, you should at least be smart enough to not post the evidence against you in a place where actual EA employees check. I bet the guy that posted that leak will learn that lesson quickly at his trial.’ [the evidence in question being in the cache of EA’s Sims 4 website, not hacked!]

TanyaRubirose (EA Forum) : ‘These graphics are more realistic than half the 2013 and 2014 games slated for the market.’ [on the leaked Sims 4 screenshots that looked to some worse than those for Sims 2!]

Whiterider (Mod The Sims) : ‘The wonderful Delphy has coded us a total new moderation system… [one hundred and seventeen lines of soul destroying tortuous waffle later] … We hope the new system will make things much easier for everyone.’ [it didn’t!]

YellowJane (EA Forum) : ‘I agree entirely that gay Sims should exist! It’s kind of racist to say it should be in the game at all.’ [there’s a Gay race?]

Zerbu (EA Forum) : ‘Today I announce that I am leaving not just this site, but the TS3 community on any other site.'[he was posting again one day, twenty one hours and fifty nine seconds later!]

Miaow!

Aarin (6s & 7s) : ‘Yes, it’s the government’s fault that you buy shitty games.’

Alitoni (EA Forum) : ‘Didn’t you know – starting a new thread is the new Search?’

AMariseS (EA Forum) : ‘They’ve already got out money, why put the extra effort into what’s already been sold?’ [on EA’s failure to sort out bugs around since Ambitions in 2010]

Angldior (EA Forum) : [to MadameLee] ‘Try actually talking to people in General Discussion and they might vote for your shit.’

Angldior (EA Forum) : ‘Those kids look like a paedophile’s wet dream. I don’t know what’s wrong with some people.’ [on some heavily modded toddlers and child Simmies uploaded to the Exchange]

AnneSommer (Simstopia) : ‘I am in two minds about going to see The Hobbit at a movie theatre because it means I will have to take my mum with me.’

Bookygirl (Booky Loves Shiny Things) : ‘Go fuck a tree you old bigoted buzzard.’

ChemicalWibs (EA Forum) : ‘When it said on the box Mac Compatible, well, silly me – I believed it!’ [on Sims 3]

DiamondKool (EA Forum) : ‘Did she use horse shampoo that makes her hair grow quicker?’

Dothesmustle (EA Forum) : ‘I don’t think the kids are the problem, it’s the adults acting like kids that are, “Oh no, she/he disagrees with me, I must verbally slay them at every opportunity”.’

DeniseJS (EA Forum) : [to Skyscraperfan/Justron123] ‘You know, if you want to be a troll you could at LEAST make it entertaining.’

Fraroc (Sims Forums) : ‘I hope the next time you go tanning, you get skin cancer so bad that people start mistaking you for a giraffe!’

FriendlyOne20 (EA Forum) : ‘You are hereby invited by Her Royal Highness the Queen of Distraction to an amazing party. Menu items include self indulgence, pity, tantrums, foot stomping, tears and snot. Please RSVP ASAP.’ [on MadameLee’s Midsummer Trainwreck thread]

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie (EA Forum) : [re. Simmie Monika Morris] ‘Those pants look like they belong on a horse.’

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) :  ‘Beaver faced trick.’ [on MinDtriKz]

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) :‘Chase Bayless is an inbred donkey.’

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) : ‘GREAT MOTHER OF SWEET POTATOES.’ [on a particularly gruesome Simmie]

GizmonicInstitute (EA Forum) : [on the best way to pay for EA’s increasingly costly Sims 3 releases] ‘I took out a second mortgage.’

Icy_Lava (EA Forum) : ‘ I would buy a bomb shelter.’ [upon being asked what they would do if they took ownership of EA]

Jazzycat (EA Forum) : ‘I’m taking a long leave from WOW (excuse me: World Of Whiners) [on World Of Warcraft]

Jennygg (EA Forum) : [to MadameLee] ‘Are you going back to your own dimension in September?’

Jonesi (Black Pearl Sims) : ‘…regarding our donation drive. One replied F**K OFF!!!!! in big capital letters.’ [So that’s a no then?]

Kateness (EA Forum) : ‘She looks like she will definitely be memorable. Poor thing!’ [on a particularly ugly Simmie toddler]

Kkarichan (EA Forum) : [on MadameLee] ‘There must be chlorine in that gene pool.’

Kweenie (Black Pearl Sims) : ‘I had nausea when I saw The Sims 4.’

KoumoriDiru (EA Forum) : ‘If they weren’t sad lonely twerps they’d have friends and wouldn’t need to troll forums.’

Lilybob (EA Forum) : ‘The Sims 4: Rated T for Trolls.’

Litabelaqua (EA Forum) : ‘TS4 will have been in the making for the past 18 months, at least according to my cat who is an expert on these matters.’

Little-Amy-98 (Playdom Disney City Girl Forum) : [to Jarsie9/Momthing] ‘seriously how can you actually enjoy life… you’re getting old… time is running out, and you’re sat here arguing about whether or not a cartoon should have a boyfriend?’

Little-Amy-98 (Playdom Disney City Girl Forum) : [to Jarsie9/Momthing] ‘Have a miserable rest of your life if you want to, by getting into petty absolutely USELESS arguments over the internet.’

Lovcat (Mod The Sims) : ‘Wonder how many times we’ll see the words “tactile” and “expressive” the next few days?’ [on the suspicion those YibSims invited to SimCamp will all be telling everyone what EA have cleared with them they will be allowed to]

Pary (BluebellFlora’s Blog) : ‘And once again marvelled at EA’s utter stupidity.’

Pary (BluebellFlora’s Blog) : ‘I will NEVER buy their arcade Sim Social Pokemon plastic Sims 4 game.’

Picasso (The Sims Daily) : ‘Trying to read EA’s mind… yeah, I know, disgusting, innit?’

Quorneater (Paysites Must Be Destroyed) : ‘*LOL!* Finally someone on this site has noticed. I can’t believe you guys were the last to know.’ [on the announcement that the reason for their founding – The Sims Resource – was now all for free]

RosettaStoned (EA Forum) : ‘Silly Simmer! Trikz are for newbies! [punning on MinDtriKz habit of trolling new or infrequent forum members]

Sarademoor (EA Forum) : ‘Hey, selling my soul wasn’t in the itinery at Sims Camp, I must have run out of Red Bull for that part.’

SashaDensikoff (EA Forum) : ‘It’s not like EA will give a baboon’s bum about this complaint.’

Sk8rblaze (EA Forum) : ‘Trust me, EA will take the Store to the next level with TS4. I’m sure it’ll be integrated into the game – perhaps notifications “Did you know you could deep fry that? Visit the premium item section of our store now!” ‘

Seera1024 (EA Forum) : ‘So you’re fussing at the moderators for doing their job?’ [on MadameLee’s tantrums over having her threads moved to the correct part of the EA forum]

Skelda (EA Forum) : ‘And here I was looking to be judgemental on someone’s poorly made video.’ [in the middle of MadameLee’s Midsummer Trainwreck thread]

Smashbridges20 (EA Forum) : ‘So at the end of the day you’re really just a condescending blundering thief.’ [to Broome1]

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : [to Broome1] ‘ You total freaking arsebucket.’

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : [on Icy_Lava and Corey785] ‘ Grade A Jerkwads.’

StillJustMe2 (EA Forum) : [on Sims 3 ending] ‘If EA sees they can milk a few more dollars out of the old cash cow, they may decide to wait to send her to the meat butcher’s.’

Vidkid20 (EA Forum) : ‘Round and round we go…’ [on a MadameLee argument thread]

Yahtzami (EA Forum)  : ‘Okay, first thing first. Have you ruled out the possibility that your Sim actually is an idiot?’

Philosophical

Aarin (6s & 7s) : ‘ The reason the world is a big fucking mess is because you bought a gaming laptop.’

Aarin (6s & 7s) : ‘ When you work at a comic book store, just like any retail job, you learn to hate everyone equally, no matter their age, gender or low-cut shirt.’

AmaraRena (EA Forum) : ‘There is a sizable portion of the human population that will act horribly when they know they can get away with it and there’s no consequences to their actions.’

Angldior (EA Forum) : ‘People disagreeing with you does not equal trolling!’

Bluegayle_ (EA Forum) : ‘Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?’

Bookygirl (Booky Loves Shiny Things) : ‘Procrastination as a method of productivity is never a good idea.’

DiamondSim18/NoodlesAtHeart (EA Forum) : ‘If you keep talking to the troll, the more it will troll.’

Dothesmustle (EA Forum) : ‘Even the more depraved sites have some standards.’

FriendlyOne20 (EA Forum) : ‘Sims have it so easy, at least until a meteor strikes their town [ironically posted hours before Chelyabinsk narrowly missed being struck by one!]

Fuzzyslipers45 (EA Forum) : ‘How did you explain [Sims 3] to your significant other/friends without sounding like a weirdo?’ [the Simming equivalent of the chicken and the egg quandry really!]

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) :‘Don’t be dinglebutts.’ [pity he never practiced what he preached…]

Halle_M (EA Forum) : ‘Burning is just so 1689.’

Icemunmun (The Sims Daily) : ‘It’s so theraputic to download stuff you may never need/use.’

Litabelaqua (EA Forum) : ‘Why is there always food in the fridge even when it’s empty?’

JadedJane (EA Forum) : ‘The birdbath was a cat looking at the birdbath with thoughts of bird catching in its head.’

Jcp011c2 (EA Forum) : ‘Bacon makes everything better (unless you’re vegetarian.’ [or you are a pig!]

KatyShewan (EA Forum) : ‘Live the nightmare, live the dream.’

Macallen (EA Forum) : ‘Adding Peppermint to my cookies does not make me avant-garde.’

Pary (EA Forum) : ‘When you stick a bunch of people on a message board, and give them anonymity, you’ll find that a lot of them are going to get nasty, rude, and downright ridiculous in some cases.’

Pepperjax1230 (EA Forum) : ‘When you let free will take over you are asking for a soap opera life with your Sims.’

RJOuttaSoCal (EA Forum) : ‘Is it really cheating when the game has no rules?’ [on using Sims 3 ‘cheats’]

Roff (EA Forum) : ‘I think many people here hate their own feet. Maybe they want duck’s feet?’

Sereniticat2 (EA Forum) : ‘You can get more with sweetness and honey than with sour grapes, or something like that.’

Simosaurus09 (EA Forum) : ‘One does not simply play Sims for a “little while”.’

SIMply Edward (Black Pearl Sims) : ‘If I feel a slap upside the head, then I’ll know I’ve made the wrong choice.’

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : ‘Some human beings are beyond redemption. Nicer-than-average people have a particularly difficult time with this concept because they want to find the good in everybody.’

Stormkeep (EA Forum) : ‘Because gnome kicking is fun.’ [on the question of why Simmies kick gnomes]

SugarMagic (EA Forum) : ‘ “Could be worse,” never has been and never will be a decent excuse for bad behavior.’

Surreal (EA Forum) : ‘Corporate greed is a reality – personal greed doesn’t have to be.’

Susiechan (EA Forum) : ‘The fastest way to get rich without using cheats is fire insurance scam.’

Trish1966 (EA Forum) : ‘Why do my Sims get wet from the rain, but not from my sprinklers?

Twallan-NRaas (EA Forum) : ‘You haven’t made it until Google autocorrects for people misspelling your name.’

Writin_Reg (EA Forum) : ‘ I can go cry into my milk, hide away waiting for the big axe to fall, or I can take all my years of sim playing.’ [on being diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness]

Seriously, WTF?

Aarin (6s & 7s) : ‘Being angry about an amusement park attraction is comparable to medieval fantasy world atrocities.’

Aarin (6s & 7s) : ‘Are you sexually attracted to any inanimate objects?’

Aaronrulz (EA Forum) : ‘Sometimes I’ll have this huge, elaborate idea and so excited to attempt to pull it off.’ [pardon?]

Alexspoom13 (EA Forum) : ‘86,156 vehicles have now been removed.’ [how to tell someone has NRaas Overwatch mod!]

Alitoni (EA Forum) : ‘Happy Hump Day!’

‘Anonymous’ (Switch’s Silliness) : ‘Yes friend hello do you have any penis clouds to look at?’ [?!?]

Archivist (Archivist Comics) : ‘Megaphone penis grandma university.’

Archivist (EA Forum) : ‘90% of my blog visits come from people looking for “magic diaper boy”.’

Arrows (EA Forum) : ‘I’ve built a big f!*k off house.’

Aseret100me (EA Forum) : ‘Every time my Sims woohoo, little gnomes appear around the house.’

Barbie01 (EA Forum) : ‘My Sim had a glitch of 20 babies!’

Biggerthanlife11 (EA Forum) : ‘Thanks to Dr Raman’s amazing team, my nose was finally accepted by society!’

Bobert26 (Sims Forums) : ‘I remember walking through the cemetery with my friends. and finding the gravestone of a woman named Fanny. We just about died.’

Bobert (Sims Forums) : ‘Happy New Year! I actually spend the night in a paddock!’

Bookygirl (Booky Loves Shiny Things) : ‘My art teacher, I wouldn’t exactly call him ‘friendly’ per-se, but he’s still fucking awesome.’

Bungeethebella (EA Forum) : ‘ That awkward moment when your Sims Imaginary friend woohoos with his sister.’

Bunnyfang (EA Forum) : ‘I have friends in all the wrong places.’

Caitxcat (EA Forum) : ‘I sent my Sim over to tend to the garden and it said that I can’t because the plants are dominant?’

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘Is it just me or does it look like Minty is about to eat that delicious kitty?’

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘The idea was to have Ollie play his big instrument… but that didn’t pan out because Somayea grabbed the big instrument first.’

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘Nothing like licking an old donkey before sending your letters, is there?’

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘If you eat eggs, don’t forget that they came out of Mrs Chicken’s bum.’

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘Some people can throw their knob really far  – 96 ft!… What a claim to fame, I won a knob for being the best tosser’.

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘Maybe Disney should have a go at making a charming animated movie featuring Scousers’.

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘It’s a funny day when this makes sense to you: “let go of the mouse once the penguin’s head is in the yeti’s crotch.” ‘.

Caspin (Sims Forums) : ‘You go ahead and play good cop any time you like. Just so long as there’s uniforms involved.’

Cate_0014 (EA Forum) : ‘Does anyone else enjoy this during woohoo…’ [how to send your thread viewing figures into orbit in one easy lesson]

Catrilla (EA Forum) : ‘Hallmark cards you just don’t see: “Happy Birthday Uncle Dad!” ‘

ChemicalWibs (EA Forum) : ‘One night on the bus home from work, I noticed it was getting really foggy outside, and I thought: “Why is there fog? I have disabled that!”‘

Chrysame (EA Forum) : ‘Post your dirtiest Sims pictures here!’ [Erm…]

Cloverstardropper (Switch’s Silliness) : ‘Flaming homosexual asparagus.’

Cloverstardropper (Switch’s Silliness) : ‘I swear to God, if I get my period on my birthday again I’m gonna…’

Cloverstardropper (Switch’s Silliness) : ‘Transgay Airlines – where everyone is a fire hazard.’

Cloverstardropper (Switch’s Silliness) : ‘Anni traipsed around the house in nothing but his swimming trunks and tried to seduce me. Game of the year.’

Cloverstardropper (Switch’s Silliness) : ‘I actually do like apples but only with salt on them for some reason.’

CSIFool (Bear Mountain Creations) : ‘He then planted his weird seed he made.’

CycloneSue (EA Forum) : ‘I kinda lost interest because I didn’t think anyone wanted my sort of stuff for Sims 3.’ [She being one of the most downloaded creators at The Sims Resource for Sims 3!]

DangerDanger (EA Forum) : ‘Horizontal mambo mojo. Lots.’

DangerDanger (EA Forum) : ‘I love it when the paps get eaten by the cow plant.’

DantaXI (EA Forum) : ‘And with another 5-10 inches coming today, I think I’m getting a head start for the weekend.’ [she’s talking about snow, not what you thought!]

DiamondSim18/NoodlesAtHeart (EA Forum) : ‘Sometimes I sniff other people’s hair.’

DivaOfDarkness (EA Forum) : ‘I don’t dream about Sims. I dream about you.’

DogEmprire (EA Forum) : ‘Currently I’m having a field day killing Sims.’

Dothesmustle (EA Forum) : ‘Does my bum look big in this kipper?’

Dothesmustle (EA Forum) : ‘I will hunt you down and tickle you with a feather duster until you wet your pants.’

Dreamsong1968 (EA Forum) : ‘I went to bed last night and forgot to shut my game down… I now have 11 children and 9 grandchildren.’

Empressyuuknows (EA Forum) : ‘That awkwardly cute moment when you realise your Sim is having waaaaaaaay too much fun on the broomstick.’ [That even more awkward moment when she discovers it wasn’t a broomstick he was holding with that big smile on his face…]

Feather91 (EA Forum) : ‘ I just noticed that SimguruMegan has 666 friends.’ [we always said the Friends system was diabolical in intent!]

FriendlyOne20 (EA Forum) : ‘Why does my horse have a Fresh Clothing moodlet?’

FriendlyOne20 (EA Forum) : ‘I delete the Repo man so he can’t take anything.’

Funkyglasses-Lola54321 (EA Forum) : ‘THE GNOMES ARE COMING PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE THEY ARE PULLING ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.’

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) : ‘I want a mod where my Simmies can give birth to their dog’s puppies or their cat’s kitties.’

Gatorade3/PathologicalLie/KawaiiDulce (EA Forum) : ‘Well soap is ‘evil’ because if you drop it in the prison showers…’

Jenngnome (EA Forum) : ‘ Dad is over at the local pub fighting werewolves.’

Jenniecraten (EA Forum) : ‘The flames sat on her for a good two minutes. Didn’t even singe her. What am I doing wrong?’ [!]

Halle_M (EA Forum) : ‘I only post on the internet after donning a full Darth Vader costume. I feel it lends a certain gravitas to everything I write.’

HeartStrong (EA Forum) : ‘There are people who protest sexuality as a label or a socialist group.’ [???]

Kael (EA Forum) : ‘I joygasmed when I saw the chicken.’

Kael (EA Forum) : ‘I hope we get a Granny Is A Hooker set.’

KelseyNoel (EA Forum) : ‘My Sims were out jogging when for no reason at all a notification popped up from the police saying “you shouldn’t use a phone like that, we are fining you §500.” Not once did this happen, but six times.’

Kristlynn (EA Forum) : ‘How to stop pudding from immigrating?’

KoumoriDiru (EA Forum) : ‘It’s been manic here, so getting my PC fixed has been put to the bottom of the “To Do” list. It was so manic I nearly went sane.’

JamieLeighFox (EA Forum) : ‘If you wear Canada Goose you can go burn in hell with Satan.’ [one of Jamie’s little turns…]

JKTee511/x_MG_x (EA Forum) : ‘So, the production woman is a strict bitch’ [Oh Matron!]

JKTee511/x_MG_x (EA Forum) : ‘Margaret has bigger breasts than before.’

JKTee511/x_MG_x (EA Forum) : ‘I would like her to be killed by having the murderer use a trained monkey.’

JKTee511/x_MG_x (EA Forum) : ‘The cow went to the moon.’

Leggokatz (Simstopia) : ‘My husband is a Debbie Downer when it comes to going to the movies, period. He says he would rather sit on the sofa in his underwear drinking beer and stuffing his face with whatever he wants… than go to a crowded theatre with screaming children and sticky floors.’

Louiseamanda (EA Forum) : ‘My Sims are still getting attached to baking trays.’

Lovelylisac (EA Forum) : ‘I accidentally booked a wedding on full moon night once. Half the guests were inappropriately dressed werewolves, and the happy couple were attacked by zombies.’

Lupusrex180 (EA Forum) : ‘Now I can’t get up in the morning without a good hard motherlode.’

Mea_93 (Mea’s Blog Of Musings) : ‘In Soviet Hidden Springs, Vampire Hot Dogs eat you!’

Mcrashlee (EA Forum) : ‘I could think of many the activity that two Sims could participate in…’

Morgangrace16 (EA Forum) : ‘I have somehow contracted the horse body and the same knee high boots.’

Minty (Sims Forums) : ‘Why would anyone want to eat kidneys?… cook it as long as you like, it’s never going to change their entire existence being one filled with piss.’

Minty (Sims Forums) : ‘Eat well my pretties, for tomorrow morning you are ALL going to be DEAD!’

Minty (Sims Forums) : ‘Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m a surrealist,  Cheese on Toast.’

MedleyMisty (MedleyMisty’s Live Journal) : ‘Sometimes the darkness and I go riding on the rainbows… the darkness says that rainbows are unnatural… Then it eats the rainbow.

MsRedNotDead (EA Forum) :  ‘When the person with the big needle comes near, imagine them with no clothes on.’

Niac1234 (EA Forum) : [on SimguruBritt] ‘You can just tell that she holds it back for live broadcasts.’

NimbusNougat (Boolprop Fight The Addiction False) : ‘Oh, hi. How are you holding up. Because I’m a potato.’

Nysha-Whiterider (Mod The Sims) : ‘Instead of getting into an arms race of stupid, objectively offensive insults… try pointing out that the person who’s said that to you is a cunt.’

Ollie (Sims Forums) : ‘Well I won’t be starting a war with America any time soon.’

Ollie (Sims Forums) : ‘When my dog is focused on getting food, don’t try to pat him because he will go nuts on your backside.’ [a new meaning to Doggy Style if ever there was one!]

Paul94597 (EA Forum) : ‘The Gurus are watching this thread. Quick, hide the juice keg and flush all the cinnamon down the toilet’ [do we really want to know what the cinnamon was for?]

Pepperjax1230 (EA Forum) : ‘That made my day seeing the pervy gnome.’ [She is talking about Sims 3, not Game Of Thrones!’]

Pokchic (EA Forum) : ‘The awkward moment when your dad starts hitting on you.’

Sammymcgoff (EA Forum) : ‘I just found out today that there’s a chance of being electrocuted by eating Jelly Beans.’

Smarties101 (EA Forum) : ‘We were driving home on the motorway and a train went over us.’

Spookyscones (Teatime For Sims) : ‘Happy New Year you furry tentacle cats.’

Stickykisses (EA Forum) : ‘My aunt used to have big honking things… they were HUGE!’

10Eliblue (EA Forum) : ‘Actually I’m not a person, *Takes off costume* I’m a horse. I try to act like a horse online.’ [better a horse than an ass!]

TeamErikstine (EA Forum) : ‘ That awkward moment when the pizza man comes with a pizza but leaves with your new born baby.’

Terserat5204 (EA Forum) : ‘That awkward moment when your wife cheats on you with your dad. That awkward moment when your husband cheats on you with your mom. That awkward moment when your husband cheats on you with your dad. True story.’

Wilderwolf (EA Forum) : ‘I don’t want multiples. Just one.’ [the topic is screenshots, not what you thought!]

WebbyMom (The Sims Daily) : ‘I know the voices aren’t real. But they have some great ideas!’

Wiktoria von Frege (KinkyWiq/Snow White And The Seven Manwhores) : ‘I love when two boys make out while wearing fishnet stockings so please don’t expect much.’ [Eh?]

Wiktoria von Frege (KinkyWiq/Snow White And The Seven Manwhores) : ‘Do not masturbate on my train home.’ [Eh?²]

Wiktoria von Frege (KinkyWiq/Snow White And The Seven Manwhores) : ‘Rising male prostitution during the Simoleon zone crisis and its impact on old kinky yuppie women.’ [Eh?∞]

x_DiamondPrincess_x (EA Forum) : ‘ My boyfriend of two years left me tonight, completely out of the blue… I was considering making multiple Sims of him and killing them in a variety of ways.’

Yahtzami (EA Forum) : ‘If they keep it up, I WILL Master Controller all over their Gnome Kicking little asses!’

Zhalk (EA Forum) : ‘Do us both a favour and stay away from my neighbour’s pets, their house is going to smell like burnt fur for too long.’