On The Last Day Of September (Illy Ally Oh!)…

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2014 by themaresnest

on the last day of september

on the last day of september 1

‘Ah, this looks as likely spot as any to get my little purr monsters their gourmet din dins and some peace and quiet at the same time.’

on the last day of september 2

‘And into the sea goes pretty Lost Island and me, around the Bay of Bumnuggetry and back for tea, he he he he! No worries, no stupid Sims 4 letdown rows, no bloody Mares with their stupid demands on my precious slobbing off time!’

Oh Laaaaaaaaaauryl!

on the last day of september 3

‘Oh plumbobs! What do you lot want, other than shot?’

Watch it, Robot Fish breath! We thought you may have been wondering why we’ve not exactly been firing on all cylinders of late.

on the last day of september 4

‘Oh yeah, what’s the excuses this time?’

Real life leaving us both coming home exhausted, one of us still not managing to shake off that injury they acquired back in August, the prospect of the return to education blues and that sense of melancholy that the end of summer seems to bring.

Plus catching a cold from a new work colleague who appears allergic to soap and water didn’t help.

Oh, and one of our LCD monitors going on fire abruptly on Sunday night.

‘What happened, did you place a pair of Graham Nardone or Grant Rodiek’s underpants on top of it and they spontaneously combusted after their latest tweet?’

No, merely coming to the end of a long and happy life of sixteen years. A few weeks of getting a white screen bloom when the computer shut down was the warning signs, but smoke coming out of the back meant it couldn’t be delayed any longer and it was time to get a new monitor screen.

Typical that it should happen late on a Sunday night when there’s work in the morning and getting time away to get a new one was going to be precarious.

on the last day of september 5

‘As Elysia would say, “innit marvellous?” ! So what do readers have to look forward to in October?’

For one, there’s some custom content we made many years ago and always forgot to release that will be finally made public – made round about the same time as the long delayed Custom Sims 3 (RIP) stuff was originally made in fact.

‘You mean those ones I modelled last month and you still haven’t got around to posting?’

Erm, yes! There’s also some new stuff for a certain band of Simmers In Denial because there is to be a new Half Man Half Biscuit album out on 20th October – ‘Urge For Offal’ – containing classic teen anthems such as ‘Baguette Dilemma For The Booker Prize Guy’, ‘Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride’ and ‘The Unfortunate Gwatkin’ certain to define a generation.

‘Yeah, but what as?’

That’s enough of that treasonous talk. One of us may even return to that project to recreate Tommy Walsh’s Eco House if they find the tim.

Finally, there will be new episodes of Raiders Of The Lost Island Consignment Shop. One is already ready to roll, but we want to get another two finished and post them over consecutive days. One of us managed to make two pretty passable Simmie celebrities in the process, which was good – whether anyone else will think the same is another matter entirely!

‘Quite!’

So what will you be up to in October, Lauryl? Going to visit the Lonely Islanders in your boat? Ask them if they’re ever going to pay Rflong7/13 any rent?

‘Are you kidding? At this time of year, they’ll be getting overrun with their particular species of wasp going mad – complete quarantine shut down until the cold kills them off. Buzzing around bins looking for sweet stuff, attacking Grannies, drinking all your nectar, running up multiple fake accounts on the EA forum for trolling…’

We often wondered why there were so many at the same time. How can wasps do that?

‘It’s a unique species they have, easily identifiable.. You know how common wasps have seven black stripes, well the Adidas Wasp…’

… has three?

‘That was my punchline, you bumnuggets!’

And you’re welcome to it!

tonguedrop edited for mare's nest use    tonguedrop edited for mare's nest use

Prepare To Be Underwhelmed Again!

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2014 by themaresnest

prepare to be underwhelmed again

Go on, admit it – after what September has delivered to Simmers and all those past ‘big announcements’ that came to naught, the prospect of any sort of ‘big Sims 4 announcement’ isn’t going to get your hearts beating any faster even if you masturbated throughout it (which knowing some of those on the EA forum they are likely to be doing anyway – no names, no packdrill…)

whistling mares nest version  whistling mares nest version

Our guess is it will be the first Expansion Pack, although unless it is an ‘open world’ one, who gives a flying duck other than the ‘must buy it cos it’s Sims‘ trainspotter types.

prepare to be underwhelmed again 1

Still, for the benefit of those find upstanding citizens like Mstybl95 who would rather not be boosting the advertising revenue of a fat Greek thief, here’s the link from where you can see it in full later tomorrow.

‘Twitch on the TV, tell me what you saw?’

Smoogie’s Little Poem (Wot She Wrote)

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2014 by themaresnest

smoogie's poem

scratchhead  smiley-lol

Hmmm, needs broken up a bit, the rhyming couplets to every second line.

Like this:

EA, EA, EA,
they make games but not sure if I want to play,
A new release but its too much to pay
Too many cuts, has taken the fun away

In this game they have cut pools, NPCs and toddlers too
Not sure if there is much left to do

14 years of a good game,
now it has been thrown all the way down the drain,
Was so much fun, but now is a pain

People arguing on the forums, day and night,
say the wrong thing, and someone will bite,
if there is too much sadness, then people will fight

Speak out of tone, and you get deleted,
EA just can’t admit, that they have been defeated

Their time will come, when they will have to worry,
but it will be too late for them to say sorry

So please get together and remember,
The Sims was a great series, but it is not forever

Hmmm, actually it’s more like a rap – whoops, we’d better not mention that topic again. Then again, why not, it must be a whole week since we were last called racist, sexist and transphobic, the usual suspects will be suffering withdrawal symptoms (anyway, it will keep Sims Secret alive for another week – a whole twelve secrets, oh dear did FraulineFive and CircusWolf have writers cramp this week we take it?!).

On second thoughts, let’s get Tone Loc to do it for us – hit it!

slaplol    yewot

Chances of that song ever getting played again on MTV before he dies and he gets the ‘everyone loves you when you’re dead’ treatment? Next to nil.

But we digress.

smoogie's poem 1

Elsewhere, Smoogie’s been getting themself into bother with the self-appointed leaders of the EA forum: except now they no longer need to treat them with any deference as there’s no longer any new EA Store items for Sims 3 and nothing yet for Sims 4 – the only reason these sad f**kers held any such ‘esteem’ in the first place.

When you run out of things to buy your friends, ain’t it funny you quick you run out of friends?

As Tone Loc would have it, ya know wat we’re saying?

sunshine  sunshine

We’ll Take Anyone To Do The Job With Any Instrument At Their Disposal, Innuendo19

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2014 by themaresnest

many a true word said in jest

ehwhat mare's nest version  ehwhat mare's nest version

many a true word said in jest 1

Oh Innuendo19 says that every time Bobyo2001. As for Horrorfan1980s’s assumption, if EA’s quarterly figures dip, expect them to start banning his alias on a weekly basis again.

many a true word said in jest 2

Pervert!

wag_finger   wag_finger

Bamcam30’s Getting Shirty

Posted in Uncategorized on September 29, 2014 by themaresnest

Oh dear, looks like someone’s wanting the impossible with Sims 4!

bamcam's getting shirty

Yeah, but wasn’t the move over to tiny ‘neighbourhoods’ the excuse they had to get rid of functional cars in the first place?

You know, thereby avoiding all those embarrassing Sims 3 stories about multiple spawning cars bringing games to their knees unless they had Twallan’s mighty mods because unlike the Simgurus his qualifications in computer coding weren’t acquired by sending twenty Twinkie wrappers to a PO Box ad in the National Enquirer.

bamcam's getting shirty 1

Cauliflowers was all ears. Or was it Angel Eyes?

JoxerTM22 however was of the opinion Bamcam30 had a long wait ahead:

bamcam's getting shirty 2

But in keeping with the base instincts the early modders have been appealing to for EA’s Whale of Fail, perhaps it should come as no surprise that some are also wanting doggy style in the cars:

bamcam's getting shirty 3

Dadan10001 however just wants to ride his bicycle, he wants to ride his bike:

bamcam's getting shirty 4

He wants to ride it where he likes.

Angrymob_1984 and Makanivalur cannot believe that even something so basic as eating raw fruit was removed from the game:

bamcam's getting shirty 7

As KingOfSims said, it seems strange that those in charge are forever pleading complexity when other games manufacturers are managing to push the boundaries forwards, whereas at Sims Studios they are taking them backwards.

bamcam's getting shirty 5

Could it be – dare we say it – they aren’t up to the job?

(Perhaps someone could ask Lauren McLemone – ex-Simguru Lauren – about that one now she’s with another employer and beyond their reach? Yes, there’s termination of employment gag clauses – there’s also the remarkability of what people will tell you once they’ve got a few drinks in them!)

In which case they should stand aside for those who can.

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Face it Munchie885, Sims 4 is one almighty flirty poop!

thatsit  thatsit

Vidkid20’s College Collage

Posted in Uncategorized on September 28, 2014 by themaresnest

Those of you that have been keeping tabs on Vidkid20’s Sim Lair to make sure she doesn’t go over to the dark side will notice she’s still entering competitions like billy-ho in the same manner Tod fights the Book Of Pure Evil (you get this one or you won’t).

Anyway, the following picture brought a caustic observation on student life from one of us:

picture this

Apparantly the male Simmie doesn’t have enough holes in their jeans, they should also be baggy enough for The Great British Bake Off to hold an episode inside and in the current semi-sitting position should be hanging half way down his arse as per ninety nine percent of all male undergraduates on trains and buses because ‘belts are, like, for old people maaaaan!

Oh, and the t-shirt should contain at least the following three stains – a beverage (usually coffee or Red Bull), a sauce (usually McDonald’s Secret), and drool from when they fell asleep on the train or bus despite wearing earphones connected to an iPod playing loud enough to wake the dead.

yewot  rant

Dariu Really Ought To Have Stuck To The Wet Celery And The Flying Helmet

Posted in Uncategorized on September 27, 2014 by themaresnest

We’ve saw a few bizarre uses of household products, but this one is too much to brush aside.

dariu wtf

yewot  yewot

SimKeats went for the surreal answer, whilst Rflong7/13’s was more puntastic.

dariu wtf 1

Or maybe they always wanted to have a threesome with a supermodel?

tonguedrop edited for mare's nest use    tonguedrop edited for mare's nest use

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