The Sea Nymphs – Chapter Fourteen

Will the Sea Nymphs have the same fall out the Foundlings have?

Has Pandora opened a box of troubles for them all?

Wait for tomorrow, and if you’re keen, you find out more in Chapter Fifteen.

 

NewSacredCow’s Midlife Crisis Mobile For Her Dad Simmie

Whoops! This one’s been lying in the draft folder for over a month – sorry!

Dad car?

Dad midlife crisis car to be precise!

Although it needs to have a retractable roof and the sort of sound system used in stadium gigs to have that full ‘trying to recapture lost youth vibe’ …

… forgetting that the ‘lost youth’ they mourn was spent perpetually broke and the only way anyone under the age of twenty five was going to be spending time in a car like that was if:

1. they’d won the lottery.

2. they were a hooker and this was a client’s car.

3. they were playing Sims 3 or Grand Theft Auto V.

4. it was their dad’s.

 

Solori’s Saucy Shark

Taken from Solori’s Dumblr:

‘Kiss the big ugly shark!’

Solori, much as we disagree in principle with slut shaming Elasmobranchii you really need to be having words with that shark of yours.

 

‘We must with a tombstone brave shut the shark out from this grave.’

Chantal Likes To Mess With Your Head

That’s what we said.

She likes to mess with your head.

In a boat.

All afloat.

This is what she said.

Because Chantal on Dumblr likes to mess with your head.

 

The Tay Bayliss Disaster Part 2

Back on the EA forum, the Tay Bayliss thread managed to reach new levels of lunacy, with MW1525 telling the FairyGodMother that Cinders will not be going to the ball with Prince Charming:

Very lucky also she said that ‘his’ doors are open to Coco … had it been ‘her doors are open (wide)’, it would have been the cue for resident fuckface EA_Joz to ‘I’ve gone ahead and closed the thread.’

For those wondering what Igazor is on about, let’s take a look – and don’t drum your fingers, young man, that’s the height of bad mannered bumnuggetry!

Unfortunately for Igazor, his attempts to get a reasonable discussion on the matter at Mod The Sims proved in vain. Hardly surprising, since all they were going to be interested in over there was whether the male Simmies were gay/ transgendered/on the Autism spectrum/had ‘daddy issues’/‘take your pick, step right up!’ and whether the female Simmie was wearing bright white cotton panties. You know what a peculiar lot they can be.

Back on the EA forum, Turjan was finding his own American Gothic lookalikes contest:

Are we the only one’s suspecting the top right and bottom left Simmies have as one of their parents one of Beaverhausen’s buck toothed aliens?

This sent MW1525’s imagination running riot:

We know how we imagine their lives – single.

 

Karritz’s offerings started off bizarre but acceptable enough …

… before she went the full blown Last Picture During The Credits For The Original Series Of Star Trek:

Mother of plumbob! It’s like one of our Simliches if they’d eaten a tyre.

If the wrapping’s just as important, Mikezumi, how about giving your male Simmies some in their upper torsos before they catch their death – and your Simself has a heart attack!

(What do you mean it’s what gets her heart started in the morning?!)

 

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train): 2019 Lux Familiar Cup Winner – So Let’s Make More Sims 3 Shit To Celebrate!

‘The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train)’ is the winner of the 2019 Lux Familiar Cup, an irregular contest held by the Half Man Half Biscuit band website to find the most popular song.

At last, the winner is one that, whisper who dares, non-fans will like as well.

Are we happy about it?

Happy enough to make some more Biccie junk!

If you’re interested, you’ll find it at the end of this post.

McTosh’s Game Of Life

Yep, one of those ‘you learn something new about the game every day’ moments!

Pary enjoyed it as much as we did.

Although Igazor thinks it was not quite as she’d imagined it.

One of us actually remembers some creaky old black and white movie which featured a sequence with a Siamese cat chess player, beating the crap out of the bewildered protagonist.

Ain’t it just, McTosh!

 

The Tay Bayless Disaster

On Sunday 28th December 1879, at 7.16pm, part of the Tay Bridge between Dundee and Wormit – at that time the world’s longest bridge – collapsed into the River Tay during a seventy mile an hour gale, taking with it steam train NBR 224, five carriages and seventy five lives. Train NBR 224 hadn’t even been scheduled to run that night, but the boiler on the scheduled engine had blown.

Ironically exactly twenty nine years to the day later, in 1908, due to the same series of events, the repaired NBR 224 crossed the replacement Tay Bridge in the middle – this time – of a massive snow storm.

On Monday 26th August 2019, MW1525 talked about another Tay disaster looking like a bust boiler.

.

Who is Tay Bayless? Don’t be too surprised if you’d never heard of him either – as he’s in Twinbrook, not exactly known for the sort of Simmies that come top of everyone’s favourites lists.

Even by Twinbrook standards, that kid’s got a face only a mother could love. Maybe he could be improved if they did something like gave him a makeover – or used a cheese grater on his face or something.

Mikezumi tried aging him up.

The doctors have said she’ll be able to go home in a week’s time, but she’s still going to need six months therapy – and kept away from the wonky vegetable counters in supermarkets in case it causes flashbacks.

And whilst we understand Pary’s sympathy, MW1525 is in danger of taking things too far.

Look MW1525, we know you mean well, but step away …. FOR PLUMBOB’S SAKE, STEP AWAY FROM THE ABYSS!

 

AbellaKellaher Is Foos Furieux!

Anyone else remember the days when the Goths drank snakebite and listened to the Sisters of Mercy? Nowadays if AbellaKellaher is anything to go by, all they want to do is sit around playing Euchre! Is there no subculture for today’s youth that is safe from being infected with hipsterism?

Hmmmm, we’ve certainly heard of The Dragon’s Roost in Sylvania, Ohio, just over the border from Michigan – nice that so many of these places still exist on this side of the pond too.

Back to the actual topic in question, Puzzleaddict solves the conundrum by pointing to EA’s well worn path of least effort involved!

Now you’d have thought an uber-geek like Igazor wouldn’t put a foot wrong in a topic like this …

… but Bingo? Really?

Bingo is only acceptable when played by sweet succulent grannies or over smartphones by white stiletto wearing chavettes.

You can however play a number of board games which are conversions of the Dominoes or chess sets, courtesy of Sandy at Around The Sims. We used her Trivial Pursuit in an episode of The Sea Nymphs – it makes for a great screenshot moment for bringing characters together, whereupon you can make up questions more Simmie related, so to speak.

AbellaKellaher however was on a role:

Which is more than can be said for SuzyCue72:

You go straight to your room young lady and think about what you’ve just done!

 

As for Mikezumi …

… her male Simmies can be damned thankful that Strip Poker never became an option in Sims 3!

Further To The Post On 18th August (A Case Of Schrödinger’s Whooping Cough And The World’s Biggest House Spider…)

On Friday, your humble narrator was awakened to a massive whooping cough attack with the usual strangulation feeling, coughing, drooling, the works. Half an hour’s worth.

This after no attack for three days, five days since posting about this whole nightmarish episode, and apart from a minor tightness at the top of the throat, the feeling that the worst of it was over, that all that was required was waiting for the sore throat to go.

How wrong can you be.

Whooping cough really is one utterly evil bastard. Unlike a cold or the flu, once it knows it’s fighting a losing battle, it changes tack, bids its time, waits for your guard to drop – then wham!

It waited until after the last of the antibiotic course had been finished.

Went to the doctors that morning (was going to do anyway, but this was an extra incentive). apparantly have ‘Schrödinger’s Whooping Cough’ for want of a better phrase: they know one has it but ‘unofficially’ because there’s not enough telltale antibodies in my bloodstream to ‘prove’ it (a strangled cough and drooling all over the surgery floor doesn’t count …). Having it and not having it all at once as far as the brains of the British medical establishment are concerned – ergo, Schrödinger’s Whooping Cough.

Could you imagine these people having to deal with an outbreak of rabies, diphtheria, flu, measles … well actually kiddies we do know this week how they’d deal with it – because Britain lost its Measles free status this week.

Result, having to wait for another blood test next week and the confirmation result a week after in order to confirm what everyone already knows, so can be signed off work as a public health risk, etc.

In the meantime, try not to cough … or breath too hard in public, or touch public door handles, or go about your daily business at all …

On top of that, today saw battle with a house spider the size of the rim of a standard pint glass. No kidding.

This spider would have been John ‘Die Hard’ McCain’s ultimate nemesis. It could run like nothing on earth ever encountered before, diving from cover to cover until eventually one gave up and went to bed, expecting to find it sitting stupidly half way up some wall of the house in the morning.

Until one could hear a weird scratching noise at two in the morning. What the plumbob … mice?

It was the spider attempting to climb the bedroom wall and finding the bordering was too slippery for it.

That’s how big this muthafunking spider was – big enough you could hear it attempting to walk on parts of the muthafunking wallpaper!

By the time your humble narrator had got a pint glass, it was trying to make a break for it, turning up the turbo speed when it saw that glass coming down.

And the bastard swerved!

It swerved and dodged out of the way.

Like … WTF? You’d expect that off cute little zebra spiders (which have superb vision and reflexes), but not a house spider.

It took two goes to get it. Trying to slip the coaster underneath to trap it in proved harder as it kept trying to make a break – in the end what was required was sliding up the glass and rattling the glass around to stun the fker into behaving, so it could be dumped out of a window into the night without further drama.